Catching Sunshine | JJ Maybank

3 // The Gold

I had never dreaded going back to school this much.

Of course, it was never fun to end summers without responsibilities and full of late nights, but this was an entirely new level of apprehension. I knew we wouldn't be able to escape the stares, the rumors, the bland condolences from all of our teachers. And just to add insult to injury, the palatable tension between JJ and I filled Kiara's SUV until even her and Pope couldn't keep pleasant conversation going before it fizzled out into awkwardness.

I had been the last one she had picked up this morning and I was relieved to see that Pope had wisely joined JJ in the backseat, leaving the shotgun position for myself. All I was afforded from JJ upon my entry into the car was a fleeting glance over my frame that I caught in the rear view mirror. No smile, no scowl, just plain indifference. It almost felt wrong not hear that familiar "Hey, Sunshine" but then I realized how weird that would have been, considering that nickname hadn't been uttered in well over a month.

Kiara parked her car outside of Kildare County High School and the four sat for a few seconds, none of us wanting to be the first out. Pope finally heaved a sigh and pushed open the door whilst slinging his bag over his shoulder; we all followed suit. As I came around the front end of the car behind Kie, I watched with everyone else as JJ took a short swig from his flask before stowing it safely away in the front pocket of his backpack. If things were different, I would have glared disapprovingly before laying into him but now, I really couldn't care less one way or another. Hopefully, he was wasted before third period and got himself kicked out so I wouldn't have deal with him the rest of the day.

But Kie warned reproachfully, "Hey, chill out."

"If I black out, just don't remind me," was all he asked, slamming the door shut behind him. Kiara wasn't amused.

"That's not funny."

I fell into step next to Pope, doing my best to keep my head down even though I felt a million pairs of eyes linger on us as we intermingled into the crowd of students milling around on the front lawn. Did they think we couldn't hear them and their pondering, thoughtless questions and comments? I wasn't sure they'd even show up. Heard they got arrested. Think they have something to do with it?

Pope and I kept our eyes trained stubbornly forward while Kie loosed a tied sigh. JJ was our silent, unofficial bodyguard; he turned his head in wide sweeping arcs, staring down each of our peers and daring them to come closer, to say those things to our faces. We may not have been on good terms currently but in that moment, I was grateful for his unprompted protection.

What I wasn't grateful for was the large tribute to John B that we stumbled onto, a hodge-podge of flowers, stuffed animals, and photographs all arranged into an artful pile in front of us. We came to halt at the base of it and I stared down at it, hoping I would set it on fire if I glowered at it hard enough. JJ's jaw muscles twitched.

"I feel like people are staring at us," Kie noted, looking over her shoulder.

"That's because they are," I replied monotonously, not bothering to follow her gaze.

JJ glanced around and said, "Oh yeah."

He wasn't exactly speaking to me, more like at me, but it surprised me slightly all the same. But Pope, ever the pragmatist, abruptly changed the subject and said, "Guys, I can't be late."

The first warning bell had already rung a few moments prior and he strode away purposefully before Kie called after him, stepping quickly to catch up with him before he got very far. "Hey, hey," she said, making him turn to face her with a dead-faced expression, "We gotta stick together."