Dark Paradise (The Story of Us Book 4)

Chapter 1- New New Normal

Everyone handles a loss differently. The team thought that it was bad when Emily had died. Hotch was stoic, Rossi was collected, Morgan was angry, Seaver was confused, JJ was secretive, and Garcia and Spencer were depressed. Then there was Amanda who was steady. That was the only way you could describe her actions at that time. She made sure that everyone was okay but they all saw her mourning her friend on a lesser scale. When Amanda died, they expected the same reaction. What they got was all hell breaking loose.

Hotch, who had seemed normal after Emily, fell apart at the death of his sister more so than when Haley died. Sean had come into town for the funeral and blamed Aaron for not keeping his twin safe and he can't help but agree. He was in the house with Spencer and Amanda but he was too worried about the suspect to notice the red dot on the genius. Not to mention he had a newborn and girlfriend at home that were mourning her too. Rachel may not know what's going on but she can tell that her parents are distraught and reacts in a similar manner while Jack is just confused.

Rossi, who was collected, is colder than normal and sadder as he had lost his first wife a couple months following the death of the woman who was like a daughter to him. He's secluded himself from the rest of the team and falling back into the habits he had when he first arrived. The habits Amanda had helped him break.

Then there's Derek. While he had been angry that he hadn't gotten to Emily in time to save her, he was only angry about Amanda's death until they caught the shooter. He was some amateur sniper that used to work for some drug lord that the Director said Amanda had killed when she first joined the CIA after he tried to kill her. After that, his anger had dissolved and he had fallen into a depression for a while before managing to push it away by focusing on taking care of Spencer.

Emily and JJ were in the same boat with a different emotion, guilt. JJ was guilty because she had gotten Spencer to break up with Amanda to keep him from finding out that Emily was alive. She had tried to convince herself that that was all it was but deep down she knew that it was more. Sure, she was with Will and she even loved him, but it wasn't until she thought that Will had been blown up in that bank that she realized that she had wanted Spencer to break up with Amanda because she was jealous. Even if she loved Will, a part of her would always love Spencer as well but she shouldn't have done what she did.

Then there was Emily. Emily felt guilty because she had never really made things right with Amanda after coming back to life. She knew she should've trusted Amy when she first learned that Doyle was in town, but she was worried. And it was because of that worry that Amanda and Spencer had broken up. Amanda had assured her that she forgave her and it wasn't her fault. The guilt consumed her anyway.

So much so that when Clyde Easter called her from London and offered her the director position at Interpool, she almost said yes. But then she realized that running from her problems hadn't helped her the last time and turned it down. Garcia was the only one that actually reacted the same way. She was upset and trying not to let it bring her down but it was hard. She had turned Kevin down when he proposed and they broke up. Now she was down a boyfriend and a best friend.

Finally, there was Spencer. While he was continuously depressed when Emily died, he seemed to be doing everything he could to forget Amanda's death. He brought a different woman home every night since her funeral, all blonde, sometimes more than one, but he always had a reason that he couldn't see them again. They were all small things but the bottom line was that they didn't look enough like Amanda. Her hair isn't curly enough, hers is too curly. Her hair's too dark, hers is too light. Her eyes are the wrong shade of blue or not blue at all.

The team had never seen this side of Spencer and they were shocked to see their young genius showing up to work hungover or with a prominent hickey on his neck or smelling like perfume. He was different on cases as well. Women seemed to flirt with him more and he would subtly flirt back if they were blonde. His behavior worried the team and they would be lying if they said that they hadn't considered that he may have relapsed. It was a constant worry but he wasn't acting erratically as he had so they simply kept a close eye on him.