Will I Ever Love?

"Sweetie?"

My eyes flutter open and I look at my mom, shaking me awake.

"Honey, do you want to go to school?" my mom asks.

"No, not really" I say, shaking my head.

Since John died, I don't really go to school anymore, I mean sometimes I will but very rarely.

"Alright, but get dressed and come eat some breakfast, were going to see Kitterinas ballet performance." My mother says, clearly disappointed I didn't want to go to school again.

I slip out of my bed and walk to my dresser. I open a drawer to pick out a bra and panties set, I decide on my pink and blue polka dotted ones. I slip them on and walk to my closet, I stand there for about 5 minutes before I decide on a light purple tank top with a dark purple cardigan and purple skinny jeans with my favorite shoes ever, my black uggs! I walk to my bathroom and brush my teeth with my vanilla mint toothpaste, then brush my long, blonde hair, I decide to straighten it because I can't stand it being wavy.

I walk down the stairs to the kitchen; my sister and mom are already there.

"Will, you look pretty today" my mom says.

"Thanks" I say as I smile and sit down.

I pour myself some cranberry juice and serve myself some waffles. I drink my juice and eat silently, thinking about john.

About 2 hours later I'm sitting in the audience, watching Kitterina dance gracefully across the stage, in her baby pink tutu. Though I can't focus, because I can't stop thinking about john.

Its now 5 hours later and I'm lying in my bed, thinking of john.

My mom walks in and says "that's it! You can't lie in your bed all day! You have to get up and do something! Tomorrow I am making you go to school!"

I sigh and nod then fall asleep for night.

"Lizzie, I love you"

"I love you to john"

"Do you want to go get something to eat?"

"Sure, let's go to outback"

"Okay" he takes my hand and we run to outback together.

I jerk my head up.

Of course, another dream.

This time I stay awake and decide to go outside to take a walk.

I get up and slip on my Hollister jacket and my black uggs.

I walk down stairs and open the front door and step outside.

 I don't exactly know where I'm going so I just wander around an ally.

I suddenly hear gunshots and screaming. I try to run, but its to late a bullet has already hit me.

I fall to the ground and see or hear nothing.