𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 • 🖤 • 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐭

XXI - a long time coming

Amelie, having tried on her dress at the studio decided to walk around her old neighbourhood in New York. Alone and lost in her thoughts she strolled around the sidewalks where she once walked with T.

She found that whenever she thought of him it hurt her heart, physically making it cringe in pain. And she thought of him often.

Walking past the café where they had first met she saw his lone figure, blowing on his hands to keep them warm: then she realised it wasn't a figment of her imagination.

There he was, real and causing trails of steam when he exhaled. He sat in the same seat he had last and he was staring at the empty chair where Amelie had sat.

Before she could think, her feet propelled her one step at a time across the street. She was bundled up in a chunky roll neck jumper and dark wash denim jeans. It was an unusually cold September day.

She ordered a coffee and then sat at the table he was staring at. She looked up and he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Would he come over to her? Would he do it all over again?

She waited, patiently as the eye contact pierced her mind of thoughts. It was killing her. Looking at him with all his beauty but all that had been said. Everything that he knew that she didn't know he did.

He got up and sat down in the seat he had last.

"Hello." He spoke, the fact that his voice was real, it was coming right from his perfect mouth falling into her mind.

"Hello." She whispered.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

The way they didn't fall back to how they had always been killed her. It killed her.

"I'm not running anymore." She spoke.

He bit his lip. And nodded.

"What are you doing here?" She repeated his question back.

"Honestly," he sighed, "I come back here a lot."

"How come?" She smiled softly.

"I was hoping one of these days you'd be here and we could talk..."

She crossed her legs.

"Here I am." She whispered once more. He opened his mouth to speak but she held her hand up interrupting him. "You were right, you weren't kind but you were right. I can't run from you my whole life." She spoke into her lap. "But I don't want to anyway."

"I'm so sorry Amelie." He chewed his cheek.

"I know you are. But it's okay, T." She smiled and nodded along. "Really it is, I just - I've,"

He interrupted her. "I've missed you so fucking much."

"But things aren't different are they?" She asked.

He looked away, not wanting her to leave him again. "I'm still with Lily, and I'm happy Amelie. Can't you be happy for me?"

She laughed. "I am happy for you. I really am, but I can't - I can't be around you. Not right now. You can understand that can't you?"

"What do you want to be different? What can I do to make you stay?" He leant forward desperate.

"You can't do anything Timothée." She felt her strength returning to her. "You know, I'm so glad you've found somebody, but I can't - I just can't."

He nodded. "You know maybe,"

She stopped him. "Don't. Don't make me any promises that's not fair to Lily either T. You can't make me your backup. But I can't watch either. I tried, you know that I tried."

That was when he realised. Amelie had never been his backup rather he had been holding out for her.

"You're only nineteen." He justified.

"I know." She half-laughed at him pointing out the obvious. "I'm not asking anything from you, I just need to be free. I'm not waiting for you T. I'm not going to hold out for you any longer."

"I can't lose you again Miel." He whispered into his coffee.

His eyes got caught in the chilly sunshine and it was like time was rewinding and he wished more than anything in the entire world he could kiss her.

"You know that never happened, you know I'm not yours to lose." She got her back together, finishing her coffee and stood up.

"When will I see you again?" He clambered desperately.

"You'll see me around." She laughed. "Besides the movie's coming out soon."

He nodded curtly. "What if I sorted everything out Miel?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know what you're inferring but I know that whatever it is," she sighed, "you shouldn't be."

She hugged him and he pulled her to him with both arms. Tears glazing over his vision as he inhaled her scent, how she fit so perfectly in his hands.

"I'll figure this out Miel." He spoke. She shook her head.

"You're happy - so be happy." She smiled. He brushed a finger tip over her cheek and she snatched it off of her before she could enjoy his touch.

"Don't torture me." She whispered.

She walked away listening to Stevie Nicks and jumped on the subway to go see the High Line.

He got out his phone and called the number quickly.

"Lily, can you meet me? I think we should talk." He sighed. It was a long time coming.