Out of The Blue

Chapter 21

Taking a large swig from my glass, I finished it off and poured myself another healthy drink, feeling like I'd brought the mood down severely.

"You want to know what I think?" Mara asked after a prolonged silence.

"Yes, please."

"I think that when you say you can see yourself falling for him, you're kidding yourself." Her expression was sympathetic, but her words were blunt. "You've already fallen."

A noise of disbelief left my mouth. "After a month? That's not possible."

"Normally, you know I'd agree with you," she replied. "But we're talking about you and Ryan. While you may have only reconnected recently, you've known the guy nearly your entire life. You saw him through his awkward stage, and he saw you through yours. You were there when he left this town to chase his dreams. You know he comes from a great family. You know he's a good guy. You have a trust with one another that could take some couples years to build."

"And that means I'm in love with the guy?"

"No, not necessarily." She took a sip of wine, watching me overtop her glass. "All I'm saying is that, with the history between you two, I think it's okay to skip a few steps on the way to falling."

Tapping my fingers on the side of my glass, I dropped my gaze to the island. "It's just... it feels too soon."

Because while logically, I could understand what she was trying to say, I was at odds with myself, and it felt like there was a mental wall built up to prevent me from going all in. The strong, ever-growing feelings I had for Ryan were real—the way my heart sped up when he smiled at me, the comfort I felt confiding in him, the off the chart chemistry, the friendship that had blossomed into more. No other man had made me like he did. Like he was the perfect complement to me when we were together, and he had grabbed hold of a piece of me that made me miss him when we were apart.

But still, I kept a guard on my heart.

"That's okay," Mara responded. "After all, he'll still be around until the end of August. No need to make any rash decisions yet. You can see how things play out."

"You're right. You're right."

"Though I am going to loop back around to you and the responsibility you took on regarding Wilma's, because I think that plays a factor here too."

I felt a crinkle of confusion form on my forehead. "How so?"

"You said he asked you about making your relationship work long-distance, right?" I nodded slowly. "Well, I think he sees the same thing I do when I think about you working at the store, which is that it doesn't suit you. It's long hours, you barely ever get a day off, and there's no way your mom would've wanted to see you wasting away behind a counter, doing inventory, when you could be doing what you love by teaching," she explained, heartfelt and honest. "Now, I'm not saying I don't get why you stepped up last year. I do. It just should've been a temporary fix. A way to keep a closer eye on your dad while looking for either some new hires or a new owner for the store, because while I know your mom loved Wilma's, I also know she never once pressured you to take over. She knew your heart was somewhere else, and I'm not so sure she'd be happy to see you throw away a career you love because you're trying too hard to hold on to the past."

"Wow. Okay," I said, sitting there stunned. I blinked a few times, digesting everything before I shook myself out of it. "Why did you never say anything?"

She sighed. "Because you were grieving, and it felt like you were getting hit with complications left and right. I didn't want to look like the bad guy, but also, I hoped you'd see the light on your own."