(18+) As the sin caves in (T.R)

Chapter 23

"Here," he slapped his sides wagging his head. "Feel better?" He raised a brow before i returned to the reality of his anger washing over me. "A little." I shrugged nodding before he huffed turning away.

My eyes followed him to the windowsill before he sat stretching a leg forward and bending the other to give his elbow a resting spot. He started  examining each star in the sky magnifying them with his eyes to reflect all the light in his eyes for them to light up and burn me with their warmth. He didn't even look at me or notice how much i was praising him in my brain, which was suspicious but alright. I didn't want him to.

I just wanted to see how his Adam's apple bob when he swallowed or how his jaws tensed as he inhaled sharply for a specific reason. I wanted to do something reckless though. Something more than just watch him, and something to make me feel safer. More secure. Something i never actually got to do with someone to feel surrounded, only to fluff but not because i needed it. And i needed him to know that i needed him, that i what i said this morning was nothing i meant, but my ego's bullshit.

I threw the covers fixing his shirt on my thighs then getting up for the floor to vibrate my skin with its chill. He was really deep in his thoughts or maybe just ignoring me. I walked up to him before he sighed then his eyes turned to me.

"Go back to bed, you need sleep." He averted back to the sky. The fractured moon reflection in his eyes incited me to ignore his speech then near him.

"What are you doing?" He queried with confusion before my head met his chest. "No- Anastasia no." He grabbed my arms before i wrenched him away. "Stop, stop." I whispered hushing him. "Anastasia i don't do this. I hate that." He snarled before i pinned his arms to his sides and my knees surfaced the cushions of the windowsill.

"I know, but i need it." I fixed my position on him slowly as he tried writhing away. "Don't feel on my chest." He bared his teeth, his anger irritating me too badly but i fought him. "I might have an idea why, but i really don't care right now." I looked up in his eyes as our lips were nothing but less than an inch away.

"So whatever it is can wait." I had him stop all his writhing because i only craved to lie between his arms in his chest and hear his heartbeats echo in my brain slowly dragging me into some peaceful dreams of his drawing.

"So please. Consider it a punishment for what you said earlier." I sighed drowning in his irises as he danced his eyes from a pupil of mine to the other. He tensed his jaws before i neglected his anger resting on his heart. It was rapid making me uncomfortable. "Tom, calm your heart please." I whispered before he inhaled slowly.

I fixed my legs between his before gradually taking the next step and wrapping my arms around him feeling as surrounded as ever. I breathed on his clone, "feel better now?" He questioned lowly and i could hear the initial hesitation in his voice fade to normal as his heart started slowing.

"Mhm." I fixed my body in his fully resting peacefully on him. The moonlight lit my legs between his as the frost from the windows radiated into my calves and thighs. Goosebumps formed on my skin as i hid them as much as possible. He stretched his arm out snapping his fingers before the black silk on the bed flew to surface me.

"I thought you hated covers." I looked up at him with wide eyes to notice his full expression. "I'm not planning on having you freeze to death either." The rasp in his voice eased my heart and soul even more.

I couldn't even think about words to describe how happy and satisfied at this moment. Somehow, despite his identity and mine, it still felt somewhat right. Somewhat... home. I guess it wasn't the place, but his arms. Even though they weren't even around me. But i just felt his heartbeats beneath those bumps and smooth skin and also beneath fabric of his turtleneck.