In Time

Chapter Nineteen

Guests in Rivendell stayed in the western wing of the palace and the Blue Room was at the easternmost end of the western wing. Amara stood at the door, her mouth dry, her heart pounding a hole in her ribs, and her hand refused to rap on said door. What if he didn't want to see her? What if he'd decided to leave Rivendell altogether?

"There is only one way to find out, you ninny."

She knocked.

She waited.

And waited.

And knocked again.

And waited.

And waited.

Her heart sank. Perhaps he had left. There was no way for her to know until the morning, when she went to breakfast, and somehow, she had the feeling she wouldn't sleep much tonight as a result.

"Serves me right," she muttered, turning around to go back to her own chambers. Hopefully, Kenia had gone to bed for the night, since the infirmary was empty. The last thing Amara wanted, or really needed, was to have to face Kenia now and admit how she'd mucked things up so badly, that Thorin had already taken his leave of Rivendell.

A floorboard creaked then, and the door behind her opened, and she paused as Thorin said, "Amara?" in a sleepy voice.

She turned to see him peering out the door, dressed only in the small clothes that he claimed to dislike so much, his hair a tangled black and silver mess about his face, his eyes mere slits. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to wake you. I'll just... you can go back to bed."

"No, wait," he reached for her, his fingers closing about her wrist, and tugged gently. "Come in."

She let him pull her into his chambers, and waited for him to close the door. He did, and when he turned, he looked a bit more awake as he scooped a handful of hair to toss out of his face. "What brings you here in the middle of the night?"

"I wanted to apologize. For what I said in the courtyard. I was being an ass, really. And I am sorry. And, honestly? If you still wished to have me, I'd love to go to Erebor."

"If I still wished to have you." He leaned back against the door, arms folded over his chest as he just stared at her for a long moment.

She pressed her lips together as her gaze fell upon the two horizontal scars across his lower belly. Like the one on Fili's back, these were healed, but raised and pink still. They stood out even against the firm definition of his stomach muscles, and since the only hair on his stomach was the swath down the middle reaching his navel, there was nothing to hide them from view. Until they faded white, they would be a constant reminder of how fragile life could be and how closed he'd come to falling victim to that fragility. And if she were to remain with him, they would always serve as a reminder to her to never take a single moment of any given day for granted.

If he still wished to have her, of course. He still hadn't answered.

She swallowed hard, lifting her gaze to meet his, only to find him unreadable. His eyes showed no fire, no anger or passion, and there was nothing in his face to suggest either forgiveness or fury. He just stared.

"I was a fool, Thorin. And I don't blame you for being angry. I just... I didn't take your explanation of this—" she held out the braid—"seriously. I was acting every bit the arrogant elf and I am sorry."

As she spoke, she moved to untie the leather strip. "If you wish this back, I understand."

Now his eyes flashed and he reached out to grab her wrist before she could untie it. "What are you doing? Do you want me to take it back?"