"Slowly but surely, you're carving your own place in my heart."
Bangtan starts falling in love with Min Yoongi
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I apologize for any grammar mistakes and any mistakes in general.
Started: September 17, 2021
Finished: September 26, 2021
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Kim Namjoon
Min Yoongi is no longer only a brother to me. He is no longer just someone I work with, a bandmate, and he is no longer someone I consider a friend; Yoongi Hyung is more than that.
I used to see him as a mentor, friend, and family because of all the years we had spent together under one roof. Yoongi Hyung and I lived together with each other the longest compared to everyone else in the group. This made our relationship a bit more special in my heart because Yoongi Hyung had been there from the very first day. It was kind of hard to get to know him at first because we saw each other as competition, a somewhat healthy rivalry began between the two of us, and instead of being enemies, we formed a bond instead.
Having Yoongi Hyung in my life made me realize that I don't have to do everything else myself; sometimes, people need a friend to help too.
Yoongi Hyung became the vessel of my everything. He was always there to listen to all my rants about the unfair and corrupted system of the music industry, all my complaints about all the hardships that we all need to go through, all the bad thoughts about myself, all the exhausted complaints ⸺ I had told him everything. If anyone knows me best, it's Yoongi Hyung, the person who I trust with all of my deepest and darkest secrets.
Realizing the fact that I have fallen for one of my best friends was one of the most shameful moments in my entire life.
Not that I'm ashamed of liking Yoongi Hyug romantically, but I'm ashamed to have fallen for such a wonderful and amazing soul like his and compared to me who can't even be enough for him. My insecurities shadow my courage and confidence to admit to myself that I am falling in love with him. It hurts to think that there will be a chance that he will reject my feelings on the day I finally gather enough courage to stand up and tell him that there was nothing I could do to stop my heart from giving itself to him.
How could I be enough to a person like Min Yoongi who deserves more than settling with one named Kim Namjoon?
If Yoongi Hyung were to hear what my thoughts are saying about him, he would probably have scolded me for thinking this way. He would probably spend the entire evening constantly praising and listing down all of my good qualities for me to engrave it in my brain because, in Min Yoongi's eyes, I am far deserving of all the love that I am given. This is one of the reasons why I am falling for him because he is one of the only people in the world who taught me that in order to love other people to the fullest, I must learn how to love myself first. If I want to be deserving of loving Min Yoongi, then I should learn how to love myself as well.
Falling for him may probably be one of the best things that happened to me.
The love that I am willing to give him cannot be compared to anything else in the world. Yoongi Hyung makes me feel safe, and he makes me feel protected and loved. He may only love me as a brother and sees me as merely a friend, but I am glad that out of everyone else in the world that I could have given my heart to, it's him.
