Dude...Thats Not a Guy

13. Party Virgins and Assassins Creed Pros

“Turd nugget? That’s a new one…” he trailed off, a thoughtful look on his face. “I think I like it.” He concluded, and he nodded as if he was sure.

“Great, that’s nice… I don't care.” I told him, watching the red cup that was in his hand and making sure the foul smelling liquid inside it wouldn’t somehow get spilt on me.

“That’s a tad rude there, Ray.” He responded, and I smiled in response.

“And again, I don't care.” I replied, keeping an eye out for Xavier.

“So… why aren’t you drinking, Ray?” he asked, winking as he spoke like it was supposed to be a pick-up line but it seemed more mocking,

“Because someone needs to be sober so you can get home without dying.” I stated bluntly.

“Oh… but who says I'm leaving? I might find a nice girl tonight…” he trailed off.

“You have a girlfriend, remember?” I reminded him, and he had a shocked look on his face.

“I do?” he asked, sounding confused.

“Yes, her name’s Rebekah I'm fairly sure.” I told him, remembering Xavier telling me something along those lines.

“Blonde?” He checked with me.

“Yeah.” I replied, raising one eyebrow at him as he had a blank expression on his face.

“That was a dare, didn’t actually mean to get with her again, not that I really care, I mean if she’s here - probably is now that I think ‘bout it- she’s probably screwing some other dude anyway. But who knows? I might even find her here actually and maybe she’ll be the nice girl...” He sounded a little bored but his words were slurring that tad too much to make him sound superior.

“Maybe?” I questioned him.

“Ray, if there's one thing you should have learned it’s that I have a reputation. I'm not good with committed relationships… if you get my gist.” He nudged my arm and winked again. I just looked at him like he was crazy.

“I don't understand how you have that reputation. You aren’t that appealing, your attitude kind of overrides your looks a little.” I told him bluntly, wondering where the bloody hell Xavier had disappeared to. Like I had been wondering for the past hour.

“Well, that might be to you, but every other girl in the school thinks the opposite. My looks override my attitude.” I rolled my eyes in response.

“You’re still a dickhead.” I told him.

“Yeah, but I have a big di-”

“Oh look, there's a ‘nice girl’.” I cut him off before I could start to blush. I don't even know why I would be blushing, I suppose it could be because he was describe his manly parts. Yep, that seems about right.

“Hey, you’re a nice girl.” He told me, and I awkwardly coughed. “But you aren’t drinking… I probably won’t get anywhere with you.” He added, completely changing the topic.

“That’s a good thing.” I responded, not even hesitating.

“Yeah, but that means that Xavier won’t get anywhere with you either. No one will. Because you’re a fucking prude.”He laughed and I don't know why that hurt as much as it did, but I was truly hurt when he said that, and he had only laughed it off. When he realised that I didn’t have a sarcastic or rude comment to say back he stopped laughing. He gave me a weird look, before he realised that I had tears in my eyes. “Oh shit, Ray, I'm sorry-”

“Shut up Ashton.” I snapped before I walked away. I didn’t care if I was by myself anymore, I didn’t want to see anyone. If only people knew what had happened to me… then they wouldn’t be calling me a prude. A tear ran down my cheek at the memory, and at all the times that I had been offended just because people didn’t know and treated me like shit.

I found Xavier, his expression showing that he was slightly drunk. I took the drink from his hand and swallowed it down myself, he had a shocked look on his face after that, and all I did was shrug my shoulders. “You want to drink?” he asked me, and I nodded, “What are you trying to forget?” drunk Xavier is quite insightful apparently, now comes the time when I either tell him or just give him a generalised answer.

“Uhm, all of my life problems.” I responded, meaning I had gone with the ‘generalised answer’ option.

“Okay, well, vodka cruisers seem like a good idea for you. They’re just like lolly water that gets you drunk.” He told me, walking over to one of the many ice filled tubs around the place. He picked one out and handed it to me. “Just, don't smash anyone in the head with the bottle okay?” He told me.

“Okay.” I responded, as I took the bottle in my hands and opened it. I took a sip, questioning if it would actually taste nice or not, but when the sweet flavoured liquid touched my tongue I started to down half the bottle, Xavier pulled it back.

“Not all at once, jeez you’re trying to kill your liver there.” he instructed, and I decided that for my livers sake I would take it easy… for now. I actually finished the bottle about ten minutes later, and was starting my second one. When I had finished that one I found Ashton kissing a blonde girl, probably that Rebekah chick, and I moved away.

I bumped into another couple making out on the couch and I felt the need to throw up as I saw so many others around, making out, taking it a little too far for being in public and I started going through rooms to try and find a bathroom. I accidentally walked into some people having some fun time on a bed, then another… I eventually found the bathroom and all of the images came back into my mind.

All of the people just touching each other like it was easy. Trusting each other too much for being drunk. What happened to me played in the back of my mind and I wished I had been drunk when that happened. The terrible feeling I had back then came back and I threw up in the toilet, I tried to push the haunting memories behind me, but the burning sensation I had felt then made itself known as I sat on the floor and made me throw up in the toilet again. I cried in the bathroom and threw up once more before I calmed down and managed to block out the thoughts.

Before they could come back I walked out and found that people were playing ‘never have I ever’. It seemed like a good way to get drunk, I drank shots even when I hadn’t done what had been said… and soon enough I was out of it. All of the bad thoughts I had before were out of my mind as I tried to grasp reality, and the last thing I properly remember was having Xavier’s lips pressed against mine.