𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

7 | Just Promise Me This One Thing

After we checked that Tom hadn't actually overdosed and died choking on his own vomit, I pleaded with Robyn and Harrison to leave the bathroom and enjoy their engagement party. Making sure Tom remained safe, I sat on the toilet next to him and slipped my heels off, sighing and pulling out my phone.

I wasn't particularly educated on how heroin affects the body during a high, nor was I aware of the withdrawal symptoms that Tom had so obviously showing over several weeks. Whilst he was passed out however, I did some quick research.

"Oh, Darling... Y-you um... You're here," Tom said quietly, looking down at himself and carefully pulling the needle out of the crook of his arm - I cringed just seeing it.

"I'm here... I'm always here," I said bluntly, trying to show my support for him without bursting into a fit of rage or a stream of tears. That was besides the fact I could barely look at him knowing that he'd been hiding a heroin addiction from me.

"I'm sorry," he continued, avoiding eye contact with me as his bottom lip quivered and his eyes fluttered.

"Why," I said fidgeting with my fingers. I don't know how drug interventions go. I don't really know how to confront someone about an addiction. All I know, is that I still love Tom and I'm still here for him through thick and thin.

"Because everything went numb after Dad died. I thought drinking would let me open up and be able to you know, feel, but it didn't help. Then, one of the lower level boys offered me this... And I finally felt something inside me. I felt like me again. And I swear it's only been the past few weeks a-and I've tried to quit every fucking day since the first few times but, I just feel worse without it than I did the first place," he said hanging his head low and beginning to cry properly now.

I took a deep breath, sliding off the toilet seat and sitting on the floor next to him. I pulled him against my chest and took a deep breath; we really are at the rock bottom of our relationship, sitting on the fucking floor together and crying. I want to fucking strangle him for being so dumb and using such heavy drugs but he needs help. He needs me.

I wept. And he wept, slowly falling down so his head rested in my lap as I stroked the side of his face gently. He was weak, both physically and mentally. I knew it was hard for him to say as much as he did. So I didn't pry any further, I knew that we had to work on this slowly. We just sat on the floor of a bathroom stall crying together.

As much as I felt mistreated by Tom as of late, I understood how he felt; because I felt alone too. He was missing his Dad and I was missing him. We just needed to realise that we have each other. By no means am I letting him off the hook though.

"Tom, I need you to listen to me. Thank you for being honest with me now, I know that would've been hard to say. But if you ever touch a needle again I will leave you. Do you understand that? I need this to be the last time you inject that filthy shit into your body," I said still stroking his hair and staring at the small foil ball with his remaining heroin.

He nodded, sniffling as he promised me he wanted to get clean. And he fucking better.

I subtly took the foil in my other hand and slipped it under the toilet seat, knowing he wouldn't remember whether or not he had any left. I don't want this shit in my life, or his anymore.

"You know there's other things you could have gotten addicted to after the funeral that isn't fucking heroin. Like sex or cigarettes or god damn chocolate," I joke, pulling him up and smiling gently at him. Despite him still looking like a mess, I carefully wiped under his eyes with some toilet paper, taking a deep breath and staring at the exhausted man in front of me.

He was a broken man. I feel bad that I didn't notice earlier.

"I'm sorry I haven't showed you much affection and love Darling, I just don't have a sex drive lately," he chuckled, slightly embarrassed and ashamed to say it.

For someone who was so open and confident with his sex drive, I can understand how hard that particularly sentence would be to say. He was the fucking godfather after all, one of their rules was to basically be suave and chic and the coolest guy in the room. Imagine how he felt feeling like his whole world was disappearing around him and he wasn't getting laid.

"Tom, I own a vibrator it's fine, sex isn't the only thing I missed. I missed laughing with you and making you cups of tea. I missed just being with you," I smiled, cupping the side of his face and looking him in the eyes. He smiled back at me; genuinely. His eyes were bloodshot and glassy but they showed me the old Tom was still in there.

"Don't you fucking hate me? I've been such a cunt to you, to Haz, to everyone," he sighed, taking a few squares of toilet paper and dabbing them under my eyes this time. Lucky for me, waterproof mascara was my best friend.

"We knew that something wasn't right with you, it's why we all still stayed, because we love you. But seriously, if I ever find another needle or crack pipe or bag of pills or whatever the fuck type of drug shit you might use in our house, I'm leaving for good," I warned, gripping both his hands in mine tightly.

"And I totally understand that. I did try to quit you know, before today I was four days clean... If you didn't realise from me being a fucking asshole and snapping at you over dumb shit. Just, promise me you don't send me away to some hippy rehab clinic. I don't want my Mum knowing about this," he said furrowing his brows. I guess being caught shooting heroin into his veins was the wake up call he needed. He knew that he had to hide it because he knew our reactions would be like this. He just thought he'd get away with it for longer. Not anymore.

"I won't send you to a rehab clinic as long as you don't go sneaking around my back anymore. I did some googling just before and it said that with the right medication and a good amount of time, you should have your withdrawals stop after about a week or two," I said watching him stand and offer his hand out to help me up too.

"It uh, it won't be pretty you know... I'll be annoying and agitated and I'll be throwing up a-and it'll be just as hard for you too," he sighed.

"But that's what you're prepared to deal with when you fall in love with someone," I smiled, adjusting my dress and slipping my heels back on.

"You're the absolute best thing that's ever happened to me Y/N," he said quietly.

"I know, so don't fuck it up," I taunted, pressing my lips to his for the first time in what felt like weeks. Because this kiss actually meant something again.