how to save a setter- tsukikage (rewritten)

three

To be perfectly honest
I have never felt this afraid in my entire life. It's like the hope I've held for all these years is shattering and I just can't find a way to put the pieces back together again. 

It's getting harder to find the will to do anything. I don't care about fighting back, I don't care about school, I don't care anymore. I don't care if it hurts. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm there when it happens, sometimes I don't feel it at all. As much as I want the pain to stop, for everything to go back to normal. I think I'm stuck, and- I don't think I want to see the other side of this anymore.

Would it hurt mom? 

Would I regret it as everything ends? I just, I can't be sure. Would you tell me to stay? Would you hold my hand until everything was okay again? Would you sing me to sleep like you used to? 

Would you pick up the pieces that I don't know how to put back together?

‧₊˚↷

Kageyama sucked in a breath before he spoke, trying to get a handle on his nerves. "Father, may I have a friend over tonight? And, can he have dinner with us?"

The man sitting on the couch didn't spare him a glance a loud grunt instead following the question. A slight bit confused, but assuming that was a yes he quickly thanked him before moving to the kitchen to start preparing the meal. 

As six-thirty pm rolled around a sharp knock rang through the house. Kageyama watched as his father got up and walked to the door and opened it, putting on his best 'I'm a well put together man and this is my wonderful household' facade with a bright "You must be Tobio's friend, come in! come in!"

Kageyama felt sick to his stomach. 

"Thank you sir" He heard middle blocker answer. "I'm Tsukishima Kei, It's nice to meet you." The blond said calmly, holding out a hand to the older man. 

The man took it, shaking it firmly "I'm Tobio's father, It's nice to meet you too Tsukishima" 

The pair made there way into the kitchen where Kageyama was setting the table his foot steps rather quiet on the tile floor. He looked up to see them his stomach flipping at the pleasant look his father had on his face, Tsukishima beside him none the wiser. 

"Let's sit down to eat huh? I wanna hear all about my favorite boy's day" Kageyama's father said his voice bellowing and deep, his arm swung over the setter's shoulder. 

Maybe he could pretend, for just today. That everything was normal. 

‧₊˚↷

"So Tobio, how did you two meet?" His father asked politely. Kageyama could feel the edge behind his words, but for once he didn't care. 

"Volleyball, we're on the same team father." He answered attentively, falling into his role in their pretend put-together family. He felt light for once, no grief or pain, no yelling, just pure peaceful bliss. 

"I see, what position do you play Tsukishima? I get to hear all about my wonderful boys spikes so I hardly know about any other positions" The man said with a smile and a hearty laugh, reaching over to ruffle his sons hair. 

He could see the confusion and suspicion in Tsukishima's eyes even if just for a moment, scrambling he blurted "Sets! You mean father, I know you're always mixing it up!" His lips formed into a small awkward smile and chuckle. 

"Ah yes, sorry my boy. I guess the ol' noggin doesn't remember everything like it used to" He laughed before turning back to Tsukishima. "Sorry about that, now then.."

Kei looked between the two, uncertainty in his gaze before he spoke. "I play middle blocker sir, I block the opponents opposing spikes."