𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐂 ❶

𝟒𝟖. ✭ 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 ✭

"Never in my life, actually."

"Interesting."

"What's interesting about it?"

"You're clearly into me." Again I don't confirm nor do I deny that statement. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not but I'm also not going to validate him. The man's ego is already large enough. "Man, you're really in your head right now. You thinking about sexy things?"

"No."

"That's too bad."

I arch a brow and give him quick once over saying, "come again?"

He snorts out a laugh. "If we were in the bedroom you'd be saying that."

"How much have you had to drink?" Clearly way too much if he's even entertaining this conversation.

"Probably too much. But seriously though, I know I'm hot as fuck but I didn't know I was so hot I could make a guy go gay."

"I'm with Dani, clearly I am not gay."

"Bi or whatever?"

"Why are you insistent on putting a label on my sexuality? It's not so much about the gender as it is I just generally have a certain type." I close my mouth, knowing I've just said too much.

"And what type is that?" He looks genuinely curious as he takes a puff of his cigarette and holds my eyes. "I don't think Dani and I have much in common in the looks department." It's my turn to give him a small laugh. "What? We don't."

"Pitch-black hair. Beautiful blue eyes. Olive skin that covers sharp, angular facial features, and not to mention you're both fit." I let a few more sarcastic laughs. "Yeah, the two of you have nothing in common at all."

"Hmm," the noise a rumble from his throat, "I guess I've never thought about that." He's introspective for a moment. "So it's not just some weird Eiffel Tower fetish you've got going on?"

"No."

"Not some voyeuristic cuckold fetish?"

"No."

"You're just genuinely into the both of us?" I don't respond to him just sit down in the chair on the balcony. He surprises me by taking the seat next to me, setting his drink down on the table in between us. "You know it's odd for me to have another man be attracted to me. Scared— yes. Intimidated— yes. Fearful— yes. But never sexually attracted."

"Who said it was sexual?" He looks over to me with an 'are you serious' face. "Alright, fine. Yeah, I'm attracted to you and yes, it's sexual in nature. And, to be completely honest, it's fucking odd for me too. I've never been physically attracted to a member of the same sex."

"Well aren't I lucky." He takes a swig of his drink then hands it over to me. "Have some." I quirk a brow. "I don't bite unless asked." I take the glass from him and take a few sips. I cringe slightly because vodka isn't my drink. "That's right you're a whiskey man." He said, taking the glass back from me. "You sure it isn't my charming personality that you're so turned on by?"

"You? Charming?" I snort out a laugh. "You're an attractive man, Torey, I will give you that, but your dickish personality is less than desirable." He flicks his cigarette off the balcony with an odd face, I can't read it. "I think there's more to you, though. More than what you show the world, what you've had to show the world." When he doesn't say anything, just continues staring off into the distance, seemingly deep in thought, I add, "I heard you and Dani the other night. I heard your conversation back in our old room."

"And?"

"The two of you are still in love with each other, that much is clear."

"Doesn't change anything. She's still with you, still in love with you, it drives me fucking insane to see the way she is with you." Don't I know it. I could sense the hurt every now and again. There was no surprise there since I know Torey's personality. "The two of you are so carefree together, almost like best friends instead of lovers."

"I'd say your assessment is valid. It's how Dani and I started out after all; as friends. Just tried to be a little light in her life at first, that's it."

"Thank you."

"What was that?" I can't have heard him right.

"Thank you for being there when I couldn't be. Dani told me she..." He chokes back and immediately looks away from me. I don't know what to do, so I do nothing but sit and wait for him to finish. "She wanted to die." He's just barely able to get the last word out.

"When I researched Dani, looked at old pictures, and the lot of it, she always appeared upbeat and full of life. Beautiful in every sense of the word, just a genuinely happy person. What I was met with in Seattle I was completely unprepared for." I let out a heavy sigh as I remember comparing her to someone I cared about more than anything. "Watching her slowly dwindle into a hollow shell was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. Dedaj had given me specific orders to not intervene unless it was absolutely necessary, and after she gave the baby away..." I cringe at the memory of the first few weeks after. I see her curled up in bed for hours in that shitty apartment, unmoving, you'd think she was a corpse if it wasn't for the endless crying. A vision of her eyeing a kitchen knife much longer than necessary plays in my head, her testing the tip of it on her wrist before throwing it away from her like it had scalded her skin.

"Fuck." Torey's vulgarity pulls me out of the traumatic memory. "Fuck fuck fuck." He stands up and immediately goes for the balcony door, ripping it open so hard I thought the glass would break. I follow him, feeling a touch of worry.

"Torey?" I question as he picks up the bottle of vodka from the bar and guzzles the liquid. I walk over to the bar cautiously. "Hey, it's not your fault. You know that right?" He slams the bottle down, looking enraged.

"Not my fault? It is entirely my fault!"

"No," I take a step toward him, "no, it's not."

"Instead of taking care of the woman I love I was fucking—" He shoves a hand through his hair and grips it painfully hard, like he's trying to rip the mental visuals out of his head. I recognize the gesture. It's one I've done many a time when trying to get rid of the sadistic mental images of my time in the marines, of the things I'd had to do.

"You were doing your job, Torey."

"She could've died." He goes into a squatting position, nearly dropping to the floor. "My child could've died. I wasn't there. I should've been there. She waited and waited for me and I—"

"Torey, stop." I squat in front of him and try to get him to focus. The alcohol and drugs in his system are making this situation that much worse for him. The feelings more intense, more emotional. "This," I get him to loosen the death grip on his hair, "isn't going to pull the bad shit out of your head, the thoughts." His eyes find mine. "She's okay. Your son is okay. You are going to be okay."

"Am I?" The pained look on his face is so un-Torey-like, so vulnerable, that something inside of my chest pangs sorrowfully for him.

I reach out and clasp his shoulder with, "yes, Torey, you are going to be okay." I help him into a standing position. When he goes to grab the vodka I place a hand on his, stopping him. "That is only going to make things worse." He grits his jaw and tears his hand away from me and shoves it into his pocket, retrieving the drugs. "Please don't. My sister died of an overdose. So, please, don't." The desperation in my voice had clearly surprised him, it even surprised myself.

"Get rid of it for me, yeah?" He presses the bag into my palm and I give him a nod before he turns around and quickly walks away from me. He pauses before going into his bedroom, looking like he's deliberating something, but decides better of whatever he's thinking and enters, closing the door behind him.

A/N:
Happy Thursday!
Hope you all enjoyed the chapter.
❤️