Lacrymosa (Zarry/Larry)

Something Wicked This Way Comes

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‘Tell me about the nightmares, Harry.’ Taylor says, leaning back in her chair and crossing one endless leg over another, manicured fingers gripping her notepad while she flicks a golden colored pen in her other hand. ‘Are you still having them?’

Harry breathes in, deep, eyes focusing on the ceiling, the color a warm beige, gentle on his sleep deprived eyes.

He doesn’t really want to talk about it, to remember any of it, or the feelings accompanying it, but he has to, his mother says, Zayn says, everybody says, if he wants to get rid of it, let it out of his system and finally have a night of decent sleep for once in months.

‘Yeah,’ he says, closing his eyes for a bit, ‘every night.’

‘Always the same nightmare?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Have you tried what I’ve advised you?’

He nods. ‘Yes, it isn’t working. I got out, went somewhere I’ve never been, tried things I’ve never done. I’m starting to learn a new language, we moved to a new apartment, I’ve been keeping my thoughts positive, I’m having a healthy diet now, I do yoga.’ He breathes again. ‘Literally, everything, and nothing works, I still feel like shit.’

She tilts her head to the side. ‘I thought you were happy.’

‘I am,’ he nods affirmingly, ‘emotionally, at least. I love my fiance, I love my job, I’m surrounded by good people who want what’s best for me.’ He scratches harshly at the skin of his thumb, nails digging in and making marks. It should hurt, and it does, but that’s the least of Harry’s worries right now. ‘But I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in so many weeks. It takes its toll on you eventually. I have headaches, my eyes hurt, I’m always seconds from passing out at work. I can’t go on like this,’ he turns to her, his eyes big and green and pleading. ‘I’m tired and I can’t.’

Her gaze lingers on him for a moment, blue eyes considerate, before she ducks her head to write something in her notepad. He knows she likes him, unprofessionally so, and if he hadn’t already been ass over tits in love with Zayn, he would’ve given it thought, a chance, maybe. She’s lovely.

‘Where did you go then?’ She asks, looking up again.

‘Bali.’

‘How was it?’

‘Beautiful. Different.’ He smiles. ‘Wouldn’t mind going there again, would love it, actually, told Zayn that’s where I wanted to spend our honeymoon. He likes the idea.’

‘That’s nice.’ She nods. ‘And what did you do for the first time ever?’

‘Went sky diving.’

She raises her brows in slight surprise. ‘And how was that like?’ 

‘Quite the rush.’ He shrugs. ‘ Scary at first.’

‘Naturally.’

‘But it was amazing.’ He says, lacing his fingers together. ‘I felt… solid? They said we might wobble when we first try to walk after landing, but I’ve never been so steady.’ Zayn there, tightly holding his hand, breathing and laughing into each other’s mouths. ‘For a while I was truly content.’

‘Do you think it’s the rush that made you forget, then?’ She questions. ‘You often tell me that routines threw you off, made you feel numb. Do you think new experiences, new places and the like, made you forget for a period of time? Getting away from the life and people you knew and shared with Louis?’