Every Rose has it's Thorn.

Chapter 24 - Shocked!

"You're awfully deep in thought over there," Jensen slid across the mattress until his frame was resting hard against my body.

"Just thinking about us -," being honest with him was something that always seemed to come like second nature. I did trust him - I always trusted him, that was never an issue. Even when I was mad as Hell at him, I had this sense of trust in him that confused me more than I could even begin to understand.

"Anything good?" He tenderly reached up and brushed the hair from my face.

"Honestly?"

"Always!"

"I am thinking about how lucky I am -," I admitted and instantly his eyes widened, "I've shocked you?"

"I mean - yeah, that is not at all what I expected you to say, I guess I have to ask why?"

"Seeing what Shayne has gone through with Jonah - I have come to realise that I am so blessed that you are nothing like him and I know that there would never be a time when you could even think about doing to me what he did to her. Jay, I love you and am so thankful that you are the kind, loving and proud man that you are - I know that I am safe with you, I have always been safe with you and that is not something that I take for granted,"

"Thank you for saying that beautiful. I can't believe how Goddamn lucky I am that you forgave me. That you found it in your heart to forgive me. You say I am a good man, but that is only because you make me that way, Hail' - because without you - I would truly have nothing. You are my sole-reason for being and that isn't something that I will ever take lightly ever again,"

Leaning in close his lips brushed against my own and I caved into him. Accepting the tender kiss for what it was - a promise. A promise that nothing would ever come between us again. A promise that we would always ensure that we thought of the other before we did anything. A promise that we would love one another completely.

Yes, we may get angry or frustrated with one another, but we now knew that was something that we would have to talk through and not allow it to warp our judgement ever again. We had come far too close to losing everything we worked so damn hard for and that wasn't something either of us was prepared to allow happen.

Jensen Ackles...

"Jay, I love you and am so thankful that you are the kind, loving and proud man that you are - I know that I am safe with you, I have always been safe with you and that is not something that I take for granted," my wife's words play over and over in my head. I know how fucking lucky I am that she still thinks that way and there is nothing in this world that will ever make me risk losing her and all we have built together again.

I'm not going to lie - I wouldn't have blamed her if she told me to fuck off and divorced me for what I had done. I hadn't just risked losing her, but I risked losing everything we have built as a couple and that is a concept that isn't lost on me. Our home would be gone in an instant, my stability and security would be lost forever because there is no other woman on the planet who would ever have my heart the way my wife does. Given what I did, I know that must be hard for people to understand, but if they could see our lives, the way we are with one another - they'd get it.

Even now as I look back on it, I still can't believe that I was so fucking stupid. I risked everything for a quick fuck, and not even an enjoyable one at that. It certainly wasn't memorable, that was for damn sure. I am such a fucking asshole. I have to find a way to ensure that I make it up to her and there is no damn way that I am ever going to fuck it up again. I know that I won't get a second pardon - one more foot wrong and I am done. I know Hailey well enough to know that is gospel without her even having to say the words.