Tattoos Together || Larry Stylinson

Chapter 26

At some point it even worked with the film and it turned out that everything was much funnier together with Edda, because she couldn't take fantasy stories seriously and consistently questioned logic.

She was a hopeless realist.

We laughed a lot and were even admonished by the night nurse because we were obviously too loud.

I enjoyed this last evening before the conversation that lay ahead of me, this last evening of the halfway existing light-heartedness.

I was lying on Harry's chest, his fingers tangled up in my hair and I felt my eyes slowly close, even if Edda and Harry were still deep in conversation.

-

I was woken up early the next morning by a nurse who was changing the IV bag.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up, young man."

I sighed softly and nodded to acknowledge her apology. When she left the room, I leaned tightly against Harry, who was sleeping peacefully in front of me.

I couldn't sleep anymore and fished my cell phone from the windowsill to turn it on again.

A new message popped up and caught my attention right away.

November 28th

Mark had written to me at four that night.

What is there? I wrote back with a frown and wondered feverishly who could have their birthday this day. Most of all, I wondered why he was reminding me now. After we had quarrelled the day before. I was surprised to register that he had read my message directly and was already in the process of writing an answer. It wasn't taken for granted; it was six o'clock in the morning.

Your death date, Louis.

I stared in disbelief at the bright screen for an indefinite period of time, my eyes wandering over the outline of every single letter of his message. It could have been seconds, but it could also have been half an hour.

I didn't stop staring until another message popped up.

That was your wish, wasn't it? I spoke to Lottie. I'm sorry Lou for trying to push you into chemo. Please don't be mad at me anymore. Please don't ever be again.

I was overwhelmed. He took a great burden off me. And I had expected a lot, but not such an admission.

The only difficult thing would now be to teach Harry as gently as possible.

I was pretty excited when I padded out of bed to take a shower in the bathroom. When the pleasantly temperate water ran over my bare skin, I thought about how I would tell him.

I felt bad and selfish for being so happy. It was like Christmas and a birthday in one day, for a small child, which I have actually been able to experience all my life. When I was little, it was the best thing ever.

I knew Harry's world would collapse but I hoped with a small, very optimistic part of me that he would be happy for me too when I explained everything to him.

I couldn't wait to get this conversation over with, I couldn't wait to begin the absolute rest of my life. Without any secrets and hopefully happy.

I had thought of something and immediately after the shower I sat in the wheelchair, which I now got along very well, and drove to the nurses' room to scrounge a Thermus pot of coffee.

Then I woke Harry, quietly and carefully so that Edda didn't wake up too.

"Louis." He nagged in his grumpy morning mood.

"Another quarter of an hour, please."

I grinned.

"Come on Sunshine, come here and cuddle with me, I'm cold."

"You can dress against that, bubs."

"You sound like my grandmother." He giggled and finally sat himself up on the bed. His hair was dishevelled from sleep and his nose was a little reddened. In amusement, I nudged it with my index finger and then breathed a quick kiss on it.

"You catched a cold?" I asked with a stupid smile on my face.

"Probably...why in such a good mood darling? Is there something I need to know?"

The boundless hope in his eyes made my heart contract painfully for a brief moment. Yes, there was something he needed to know, but he probably wouldn't be half as happy about it as I am.

I nodded, cocked my head and looked dreamily at the boy in front of me. "Morning walk?"

"If you then enlighten me." He answered an got up.

-

We were walking through the hospital park again. Harry pushed me in front of him in the wheelchair with the IV dispenser in hand and gleefully looked at the lawn, which was coloured mint by the white of the first frost.

He had carefully wrapped me in a blanket before we went out and put gloves and a scarf on himself.

I loved winter, I had always loved it, but I would never live to see it again. I wistfully deleted the thought of a first Christmas with Harry from my future dreams and with it the afternoons we would have spent baking cookies and drinking cocoa while watching kitschy Christmas films.

At least we had some autumn left.

We stopped at a bench in front of a small bridge that led over a duck pond.

"Now tell me honey, wanna know everything." He said when he sat down next to me on the bench and I wrapped him in my blanket with me.

I took out the Thermos flask and first poured each of us a plastic cup that I had stolen unnoticed in the nurses' room.

"Please promise me to listen first and not directly... you know, to burst into tears."

He nodded and obviously wanted me to go on.