unexpressed thoughts

b e s t

"Why don't we take Crim together?" you asked out of nowhere as you begin our conversation.

It made me confused for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"Yes, let's take Criminology together. Isn't that fun, we'll be with each other's side when things get rough, ya'know what I mean," he explained.

"Hey! I know what you're thinking." I jokingly said then we both laughed.

"Be with each other's side when things get rough or... you just want me to get those assignments and tasks of yours done, huh?" I continued, then we laughed again.

"Or... get me a girl on the Crim faculty to get my shits done, isn't that more interesting?" he again, joked. But for me, I felt a bit hurt.

"I knew it! I knew it!" I mumble, nearing to laugh.

"What?" he asked even knowing the answer. Right now, we're just playing jokes anymore, aren't we?

"You just want someone to do your tasks to pass Crim that's why you're asking me! I knew it!" again, I laughed as I teased him. He also laughed, feeling guilty of what I've said but still, in the end, he chose to said what is the truth.

"Hey, no! I'm just kidding about that. I know you know the real answer why I'm taking Crim, right?"

"Yes, I know." I replied.

Then for a moment, after these throwing of jokes, silence creeped us.

Under this dark sky full of glistening dust, we're both up here, in their rooftop. Here in their rooftop that served as our hangout place ever since we were kids. Up here, we can see how our families giggle as they dance to the music that's playing in the garden. We can see how happily they are as they celebrate tita Gail, his mom's birthday.

"So... what do you think?" he started.

"Don't you remember? You're a year ahead of me. Tita Gail, I mean your mom, would be mad at you if you'd skip a year upon knowing what you truly want for life."

"The explanation to mom? Leave it to me..." I cut him off.

"So why?"

"What do you mean by that? I mean, why you're asking me 'why'?"

He's now confused, I can tell from his tone of his voice.

"Why do you want us to take Crim together? I mean, you can take that by yourself, and ahead of me. Why bother asking me to be with you?"

"I would wait. In just a snap, one year would be done," he insisted.

"No. You shouldn't be waiting. You know, in life, we have different path to take, we have our own pace," by this time, it was me who was cut off by him.

"I just want to be with you, I want us to take Crim together. I have no other agenda aside from taking both of us to where we wanted to be. After taking Crim, you can enter Law as what you have said, and I would pursue Forensic Sciences, to be in the lab but in the field of Crim. What did you say to me before? You wanted to take criminology because you want to take Law, right? I cornered you, I asked you not to. But you insisted because you said, there were units in the Crim that is related to Law, there were subjects in Crim that can help you entering Law School," he paused for a while but still continued.

"You know that I hated Criminology, I even denied the fact that I should be one. But when you said you wanted to take Crim as your pre-law, can't you even notice the changed I've done? The more I push Crim away, the more it pulls me back. If it is not me that has been pulled, it is either the people around me, but look? It pulled you, then later on, it pulled me too. I'm taking Crim because of you, Hasha. I know, it would be hard. There is no course that's easy, but for me, I just thought that if we'll take Crim together, the higher our chance to enter our dream school. I know you know what I mean."