Ana taught me (N.H.au )

Lesson 2) Listen to the insults

~*~
It's break time and i'm nervous everyone is gathered around eating and talking happily.
I sit down next to Ashton , who's playing nervously with his many bracelets.
'You don't have to be nervous Ash' I said sweet not that i'm not, he looks up 'I just don't know if the people will accept me I mean i'm not British i'm Australian and i'm a bit geeky-' I cut him off 'You are perfect the way you are don't change' I said stern.
He smiles bright 'Thank you Niall you are really nice' Ashton said , I got shoved away by Zayn and he starts talking to Ashton.
'Do I know you?' Zayn asked.
'I don't know maybe' Ashton answered I chuckle.
'You are from that band on youtube 5 seconds of summer?' Zayn asked.
'Yes i'm the drummer' Ashton said , Zayn eyes widen 'i'm a huge fan! you guys are amazing' Zayn said , first I thought he was being sarcastic but he sounds really excited.
'Awh thank you' Ashton said a bit shy. 'Should I introduce you to some friends of mine?' Zayn asked.
'Yeah sure , is that okay Niall?' Ashton asked suddenly Zayn turns to me with a icey glance 'Course' I said with my best fake smile.
They stand up and leave and i'm all alone cus' Harry left to go to something with Cassie.
I decide to go on my phone "check some Pro Ana side those give you good tips" ana said.
I find some really good information and make sure I screenshot it.
'What are you reading?' Jade suddenly asked , I almost let my phone fall out of terror.
'Jeez you scared me Jade' I said flushing a bit red. I lock my phone quickly.
'Sorry' she said with a cheeky smile 'Why aren't you with the girls?' I asked a bit harsh 'Claws out Nialler? I saw you sitting on your own and thought let's give you some company' she said 'Sorry it came out harsher than I meant and i'm thankful though' I said a bit down.
'You look a bit down lately' Jade said 'Are you creepin' on me' I said , she giggles 'No' she said.
The zoomer goes 'Thanks for the company' I said she winks at me 'No problemos' she said.
Jade is that kind of girl who always tries to make you feel good , she really makes me happy and feeling much better now.

~*~
The last zoomer rings and I go fast to my locker.
Fast I change the books and go outside. Zayn and Josh are smoking.
I have asthma so I hate the smoke it doesn't make it easy to breath.
'Aye faggot
' Josh yelled , I think they are talking to someone else.
'Are you deaf faggot!' He yelled , he's not yelling to me right.
I got roughly turned around 'I'm fucking talking to you Fag' I look at him confused 'So you like dick huh' he said with a grin 'Dafuq' I said irritated.
'You like Ashton you want him all alone but reality check he isn't gay' Josh said 'What the fuck i'm not gay! I just helped him because he doesn't know how it works here' I said angry.
'Awh good of you but he doesn't want any help of a fat , ugly , faggot like you' he said punching my stomach. I whimper 'You should really lose some weight you know ever thought about working out? you need it' Josh said pinching my belly.
I feel my waterline filling with tears , I take my chance and runaway.
I decide not to go home but just go to the park.
When i'm in the park , I sit on a bench and start crying.
"Man-up Niall , you can't keep crying like a baby you're fucking 18" Ana said.
'Niall? Is that you' Liam asked I keep my head in my hands and cry further.
'Why are you crying?' Liam asked worried while rubbing my back.
I hiccup and decide to keep my eyes on the floor.
'I-it's nothing don't worry about it' I said standing up but Liam pushes me down on the bench.
'don't bullshit me what's wrong?' He asked 'Just...i'm stressed and stuff'
I lied.
'I know how you feel man everyone thinks I might be gay as far as I know i'm not but they keep calling me by names until I almost punch them' Liam said with a deep sigh.
'You can always come to me if you want to talk' I said.
'Thank you Niall same for you' he said , he gently lift my chin to look in his brown puppy eyes. I feel a weird tingling in my stomach.
'Don't cry , I don't like it when you cry happy you is much more fun' he said with a cute smile , I smile weakly.
'Thank you Li , I guess I see you in school' I said , he nods and smiles.
I wave at him and go home , when i'm home is it only me and my dad.
'Niall did you start working out? so not, maybe you need to start' My dad said. I feel really uncomfortable 'I already started' I said down.
'I never see you go for a jog maybe that's also a idea' he said 'Yes...maybe' I said ,my dad pinches my arms.
I hate it when he does , I go upstairs and lock the door. I start crying in my pillow and start sobbing.
The pain aches in my chest.
"Your dad will be proud of you if you keep going with the diet Niall so start your workout 50 crunshes 15 push-ups and 30 burpees" Ana said.
'I can't do that to heavy workout' I said .

"Do you want to stay fat ? Do you want Josh to bully you? Your dad who keeps telling you to lose weight?"

'No' I sobbed "Then you do that workout remember I just want to make you perfect" Ana said.

After the workout I take a Ice cold shower again. After that I put on my sweatpants and shirt. I decide to check out more Pro Ana sides.
I bump up to a topic I don't know yet *Mia*.
It's about puking the food you ate.
Maybe that's something to try when I get forced to eat something.

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I'm taking this story really serious.
Anorexia and Bullimia is something really common in our society of today and it really shocks me tbfh.
I know some people who are having this problem and some had this.
Like my sisters friend , she is skin and bones and she weights less than me and i'm 3/4 years younger than her.
It's so unhealthy and my sister is damn worried and now she gets forced to get help so that's better.
Please talk about if you have this problem.

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