Chasing a Moving Train

Fuck She Has My Heart

Silence. Not a single sound filled the air as I tried to figure out what to write. My brain was completely empty which was extremely unfortunate for me because I have so much to do and so little time to do it. I looked at the clock in an attempt to find a friendly 8:30 pm which would mean time and the universe was on my side. That would mean it would be almost half an hour until the time my assignments were due which would be such a load off. I look over and

... drum roll..

It's 11:30. Damn it Universe. Just my luck. I spaced out while trying to do my homework. Again. This is utter bullshit. Why does doing homework have to take so long when it should just take all of 3 seconds. Not actually but I mean it would be better that way if that was an option. Ugh, I am so tired of spending all my time trying to concentrate just to only focus on trying to concentrate instead of actually concentrating. It's a mess. Speaking of a mess, my stomach decided it wanted to join in and its grumbling louder than my thoughts which is really annoying considering the fact that it's supposed to be inside of me. In this failed attempt at being a good student, I take a long sigh, get out of my chair and open my pantry. "Maybe some snacks might help?" I say to myself knowing full and goddamn well a pack of Cheetos is not going to help me write all the essays I need to write tonight. But fuck it I'm hungry. As I am eating the cheesy taste of said Cheetos, I hear a buzz. "Aw fuck. Phone did you really have to do this to me? I am kinda in the middle of something with Miss Cheetos here". Oh well, the moment is ruined. Sorry Miss Cheetos. I grab my phone off my desk and look to see that I got a text from my bestie, Sadie. Every time I see her name pop on my screen, my heart skips a beat just a bit. A tiny bit of me hopes that this text may be the one. After all these years, maybe this is the one where she confesses her feelings and we have our happily ever after. I look at my phone.

<3 Sadie <3: Hey loser, ya finished that paper yet? ʕ◉ᴥ◉ʔ

Nope. Definitely not the one. 

                                                                                                                     Me: Not just yet but it's taking forever!!! My brain is dying over here. ('Ａ｀)

<3 Sadie <3: Well my pal, why don't you take a quick break and maybe come hang with me?

 (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Me: Aww you know I can't Sadie. I have so much work to do v(ಥ ̯ ಥ)v

<3 Sadie <3: Please?!? I'll make it worth you're wild. I have some white claws we can share. Plus its been a while. I want to talk and catch up.   ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡

Me: Fine. You are lucky I can beg my teacher for another day to turn this in.

<3 Sadie <3: YAAAAAY!!! ≧('▽｀)≦ 

I hold my phone to my chest. Maybe this is the day. Maybe. But Also...maybe not

Sadie has been my best friend for two years. I have known her for seven but we never really got close until the last two. She was there when I was recovering from my first love, Rachel who completely broke me. She was there for me when I thought I couldn't go on. She was the first person I came out to as nonbinary. She has had a big impact on my life. I couldn't have even gotten half as far without her. The thing about that is that I've had a crush on her for a really long time. Like a Creep by Radiohead crush and it's bad. When she texts me I get butterflies. Sometimes I would stay up at night thinking about her. I talk to my family about her all the time. Like I said it's bad. Cupid struck me HARD. However, I am not really sure how she feels about me. To be honest, I am not expecting anything from her and I know there isn't much of a chance but I mean sometimes I wonder. She used to mention taking me to raves with her which she said she wanted to pay for and going on picnics and stuff so maybe it's not just me.

I am not really sure. Either way, I will be okay but for the past couple of months, the possibility has been eating at me. I am kinda confused. I have asked people's advice on what to do but they just tell me to talk to her about it which scares the shit out of me for obvious reasons. I don't know. Anyways, it's time to head over to her house so I put on my large oversized hoodie from hot topic and head on my way to her house. 

*

Jasper | Sadie

I knock on Sadie's door with a cute melody that you can hear just a bit through the halls. It takes a couple of seconds before Sadie greets me at the door in what she calls her "I don't give a fuck clothes".  

"Come on in." She says with a nice little smirk that makes her dimples pop out ever so slightly.

"Thanks for saving me from all that paperwork. I know I still have to do it but my brain is fried from all that psych work."

"You're welcome, Jas. Thanks for coming."She says as she winks at me and plops herself on the couch.

 She hands me a mango whiteclaw. I take a sip and eh its alright. 

"So what have you been up to, other than your psych homework?"

"Oh I have just been chilling really. Trying to vibe."

"Have you talked to Jackie yet?" She says with a wide grin.

Jackie is our code name for my crush but I don't have the heart to tell her Jackie is her.

"I have but nothing exciting has happened ya goofball. To be honest, I don't even think she likes me."

"Nah I doubt it. You are so awesome. She would be crazy to not like you. And if not, I'll have to throw hands."

"Mini plastic hands?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

"Mini plastic hands. Obviously."

She makes this cute expression with her eyes when she is passionate about something and holds her fist up like she is in an anime. God, she is so adorable. I laugh at her cuteness.

"What are you laughing at loser?"

"You."

"You are just a hater."

"Maybe. We shall see."

"Also this is random and off-topic but can we talk about Bell and how hot she is."

"Okay."

Bell is this girl she is talking to. We sit and talk about Bell for an hour as she gushes at how "sexy" Bell is. I agree and nod while my heart hurts. I know they aren't anything serious but my stomach curls in knots. I put on a supportive but I can't help but die inside at hearing this. This goes on for 30 more minutes until out of nowhere, she reaches for my hand and grabs it firmly. She looks at me for a second and just stares.

"Hey. You know I love you, right? You mean so much to me. Well as much as a loser does to me."

"Yeah, I know."

"Good."

"Now let's watch some Netflix."

We cuddle up next to each other on the couch and put on Netflix. It takes Sadie five minutes before she falls asleep in my arms. She has had a long day. I am still awake as always. 

I look at her soft sleeping face. She is so beautiful.

Fuck...I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much. This hurts too much. 

Fuck.

Also, double fuck because I am definitely going to turn my psych paper in on time. Rip me.

Also let me know if the way the dialogue is (the italic/Bold thing). If it's annoying or too confusing just let me know and I can just put it back.