The teacher // Miss Paulson

Just some time apart // Chapter 46

Cherry: It was really nice seeing you again yesterday. I thought your girlfriend would know how to party though.

Cherry: Would you like to go drink some coffee anytime soon?

Sarah: I mean I get that she has to take care of her little sister, but lately it has only been about Tara. It's like she doesn't have time for me anymore. It's always Tara this and Tara that. 

This one hurt a little, since you thought she never minded you taking care of Tara. And you always tried your hardest to make enough time for Sarah even though you were exhausted from working and raising a kid. Sadly enough the messages didn't stop there.

Sarah: She has no time for me, but she does for a woman which she has only known for a couple of days. It's just insane.

Cherry: Maybe she isn't as perfect as you always thought. 

Sarah: Oh I know she isn't perfect. I just hope she doesn't do anything stupid with that woman. 

Cherry: Maybe she's just not ready for a committed relationship. I'm sure she loves you, but she's still very young and she probably has a lot more of the world to explore. 

Sarah: Idk... I'm just getting tired of not being important to her anymore. I mean Tara always comes first. She sometimes leaves for weeks to go on a business trip. I don't know if I want to be in a relationship where I barely see her. 

Your eyes start to get teary, because you don't know this side of Sarah. She has never talked about you like that. You get up early in the morning to help Tara get ready, then go to work, make sure Tara has something to eat and then go to Sarah. Eventhough you are exhausted you always make sure to speak or see Sarah everyday, because you love her. You don't even really think about yourself anymore. You just want everybody to be happy, especially Tara and Sarah. Even if it's a decision you would never want to make you would always choose Tara over Sarah. She's your little girl. Tara is what kept you going for all these years and you don't want anything but the best for her. 

You don't really know what to do right know. Do you wake up Sarah and confront her? You're just really hurt and confused. The tears are streaming down your face, especially if you think about last night. Did she mean what she said? Did yesterday mean something to her at all? Is she meeting up with Cherry again? 

You decide to go upstairs and wake up Sarah. "Sarah wake up. We need to talk." You say throwing the phone down on the bed next to her, with the chat of her and Cherry on the screen. You walk back downstairs waiting for Sarah to wake up. About a minute later Sarah comes running down the stairs. "Baby I didn't mean it like that." She says walking towards you, while you're sitting down on a chair at the kitchen table. "Well maybe you shouldn't have said it then." You say looking up at her. She comes closer to hold you, but you push her away. "No. First of all why her again? Why are you talking to her?" You ask with glistening eyes. "She just texted me after Amanda's party and I don't know... we just have been argueing a lot lately and I needed to talk to someone." Sarah says. "Didn't it ever cross your mind how it would feel for me if I found out you were talking to Cherry again. You could've talked to one of your friends instead of her. Or maybe you should've just talked to me, but no you had to talk to her again." You say getting angry and frustrated. "Maybe I didn't talk to you, because you don't have any time for me." Sarah says. "So you just go back to talking with Cherry. The one woman I wouldn't feel comfortable with you being around. I just can't understand that you can't even think for one second how I would feel about you even talking to her. I let it slide for Amanda's party, cause she's friends with them. But why do you still feel the need to talk to her?" You say. "Why did you feel the need to spend more time with that new girl from work instead of me?" Sarah says, which makes you even more frustrated. "First of all I have not been spending more time with her, cause at the end of the day I'm always at your house spending time with you. Second of all, she's a friend from work and not an ex girlfriend whom you have left me for a couple of years ago." You say. "(y/n) you know I love you more than anything, so why would you even bring that up again? Like you said that happened years ago." Sarah says. "I guess you don't love me enough if you care more about talking to her instead of just letting her go for me." You say with teary eyes. "Maybe I would let her go if you showed me that you really love me. It's always work or Tara first and then me. You leave me alone for weeks and that just gets lonely okay. I mean how do I know for sure that you don't meet someone who you'll like more than me when you're away." Sarah says. "Because I love you. I have always loved you. I make sure to see you everyday and when I'm away on a business trip I always call you at the end of the day eventhough I'm completely exhausted. Plus I have never given you a reason to doubt me. I have always been faithfull to you, unlike you have been to me. So I don't know what more you could possibly want from me." You say. "I'm sorry okay. Is that what you want to hear?" She says agrivated. "No. I need you to promise me that you stop talking to her and to stop being so fucking jealous when I give you no reason to be." You say. "Fine. If you promise me that I come first to and not always work or Tara." Sarah says and you look dissapointed at her, because she is making you choose between her and Tara. "You come first to, not just Tara. I love you both with all my heart, but I can't help that you're to blind to see that. " You say.  "Maybe you should understand that you're not her mother. You're just her sister, besides she still has a father as well. She probably doesn't even need you as much as you think she does." Sarah says. "I know I'm not her mother, but I have been raising her since she was born. You have no idea how loney I was before she was born. I was depressed and I felt empty, but then she was born. I wasn't alone anymore. She made me feel things again. The first year I held her all I could do was cry, because I wasn't used to someone being so close to me in a loving way. She kept me going. She kept me going when I got tired of life, when our mom got sick, when she died, when Tyler died and when you left me. So don't you dare ever tell me that I'm spending to much time with her. And you might be right that she doesn't need me as much as I might think, but I do need her. She's my little girl and she always will be. I have never loved anyone as much as her. I'd do anything for her and if that means choosing her over you then so be it." You blurt out and it gets quiet for a while. 

"So you don't want to be with me anymore?" Sarah says. "Ofcourse I still want to be with you, but I'm not giving up my time with Tara." you reply. "I'm not asking you to give up time with Tara. I just want to feel important and loved to." Sarah says. "I don't know what else I can do to show you that. I've done everything possible to show you how much I love you and want to be with you, but maybe you talking to Cherry again just shows that I'm not enough for you." You say while a tear rolls down your cheek. "Maybe we should just take a little break, because this is leading nowhere." Sarah says looking down. "What if I don't want a little break. What if I just want to settle this so we can continue with our lives." You say. "Well I don't know what else I can say that will make this better (y/n)." Sarah says. "Fine, but just so you know this is not a break to me it's just some time apart." You say with more tears going down your cheek and Sarah goes upstairs to gather her stuff. 

She comes down and you look up at her while standing at the door. "I just hope you know how much I love you and I meant everything I said to you last night." Sarah says opening the door. "I love you to... but if I find out that you meet up with her again then we're finished." You say trying to stand your ground but sounding like a fragile little girl. Sarah nods and walks out the door. 

You walk over to the kitchen table and sit down. You let your head fall into your hands and break down. The tears are streaming down you face and you don't even hear Tara walking down. You feel her tug on your arm and when you look at her she climbs onto your lap and hugs you. "I'm sorry for taking so much of your time." She says with a guilty look on her face. "How much of that did you hear?" You ask her. "Everything." She admits. "Hey you have nothing to be sorry for.  I choose to spend so much time with you, because I want to. Because it makes me happy. Don't you ever forget that I love you more than anything in the world." You say still crying. "I love you too." Tara says holding you tighter. "Is Sarah mad at me?" Tara asks. "No she could never be mad at you. Sarah and I just don't always agree on the same thing and that's okay. But on sme things you need to be on the same level for a relationship to work." You say. "So is she gonna come back?" Tara asks. "I don't know baby. But I don't want you to be sad. I just want you to be excited about going to Lana's tonight, like you were yesterday. Alrighty?" You say. "Alrighty. I love you 3000." Tara says. "I love you 3000 to." You say holding her close to you...

Whoopsies sorry for all the drama. Somehow I'm better at creating drama in stories. I don't know what that says about me but oh well :) I guess everyone has their own coping mechanisms lol ;) I hope you still somehow liked reading this chapter haha <3

Btw sorry if there are any mistakes I wrote this in one sitting :))