Heart at War // JJ Maybank

25

"Uh... What have you been doing the last ten days?" He rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly. "Honestly?" I press my lips into a thin line as he nods in response.

"I've been hanging out with JJ, mostly," I admit because I had nothing to hide or feel sorry for, no smile or any hint of guilt when I watch the look on his face turned bitter.

"Oh, I see." He almost snaps, looking around from me and towards the floor. His jaw clenching and then unclenching before he sucks in a deep breath.

"Is that becoming a thing now?"

I stare at him dumbfounded, not exactly sure what he meant by that or how I should answer. "What?" He scoffs at my lack of understanding. "You and JJ, is that a thing again? You're going to leave me for him aren't you?"

I can't help the laugh that falls from my lips, Ayden's eyes narrowing at me. "Leave you for him?" I chuckled, bitterly. "How would that even be possible considering we aren't dating?"

I was acting like an asshole, an inconsiderate asshole but I could care less at this point. I had no time to deal with Ayden and his jealousy right now, my energy was being spent trying to stay sane when everything in my life was falling apart... I had none to spare just so I could coddle his ego.

"I just thought-" Ayden starts, but I cut him off. "You thought wrong. How could you even think I'd date you when all you've done since my father died, is act selfishly?" I snap at him, brushing his hands off of mine.

"My father died and the only thing it seems like you care about is whether or not I'm with JJ or if I'm going to date JJ. And I'm tired of it!" I shake my head, "JJ has been my best friend since the fifth grade, if I choose to find comfort in my friendship with him you don't get a say in it! I've known him much longer than I've known you, and it's my grief so I damn well have a right to be around anybody I goddamn want!"

I stand from the couch, glaring down at Ayden as I brush off my pants. "We aren't dating. It seems like you continuously keep trying to push that commitment on me after I have told you countless times to not do that," Ayden stares up at me with wide eyes. "So you need to give me time away from you now. Don't text or call me, Ayden. I mean it."

I make my way back towards the front door, heading Ayden hot on my trail. "Lena, wait! I'm sorry-" I stop him.

"I don't want your apologies. I want to go home and grieve my Father in peace." I tell him over my shoulder, swinging the front door open and slamming it closed behind me hoping that Ayden wouldn't follow this time.

I feel like I haven't been to the chateau in forever, as I slowly pull up. I spit Sarah and John be almost instantly, laying in the hammock together.

I try to push away the familiar feeling of sadness when I spit Kiara and JJ sitting next to one another, watching something on JJ's phone and laughing.

When I step out of my car, everyone's head turns at the sound of a car door slamming shut. Kiara jumps to her feet, knocking JJ's phone out of his hands in the process.

"Lena!" She shouts as she runs toward me in a flash, her body collides with mine with so much force we almost fall to the ground. I can't help the wholehearted laugh, one I haven't had in a while as she holds me tight to her.

"Oh, my god." She sniffled, taking me by surprise. I hadn't expected her to cry, "I'm so sorry, Lena." She whispers to me, as I watch over her shoulder as the others approach us.

"I'm fine, Kie. I'm okay." I whispered back as I pull away from her, I wipe a fallen tear from her cheek as she smiles at me through her sadness. "I'm fine," I repeated before I'm taken out of Kiara's grip by Pope.

One by one each of my friends held me, whispering how much they missed me or how sorry they are for what I'm going through. I pushed a smile onto my face, putting on a brave front as I told each of them the same thing.

"I'm fine, I'm okay." And whether or not that was the truth of not, I am a people pleaser. The relief that would wash over their faces, made me feel warm inside.

When I got to JJ after John B gave me an extra-long hug. He runs his fingers down the sides of my arms before locking our hands at the bottom. His eyes stare deeply into mine as the others slowly walk away from us, giving us some time.

"You sure you're ready for this?" He mumbles to me, remembering our conversation only a few nights prior where I told him I wasn't sure if I was ready to be around everybody yet.

I nod. "They are my best friends, too. I don't need to go through this alone... You told me that, remember?" I said, reminding him of what he told me that same night.

JJ smiles lightly before pressing his lips to my forehead gently. "I remember." He mumbles against my skin before stepping back, holding onto one of my hands and pulling me towards the others.

"Let's go see our best friends, Lee B."

- - - -

Super short chapter today, another one coming later on I hope!!!

All love,

Xoxo
A