Rise of the Teenage Conquerors

Episode 1.35

"I think you've got the wrong song," Luke said. "That's about a Billy the Kid, not my father."

"We'll be making it about your father," Lucas told him. They already had – the four of them loved to parody songs to fit Star Wars. They'd been doing it ever since listening to Weird Al in elementary school. He started singing in a low voice. "From a town known as Mos Esla, Tatooine, flew a boy, with the Force at his command. And his daring life as a Jedi, made him a legend in his time – east and west, of the Hydian Way."

"Well, he started at a Podrace, the Boonta Eve," Ben picked up. "The winnings would help the Jedi and queen leave. Well, his age, and his species, took the judges by surprise, when he won and the word spread of Skywalker."

"Well, he always fought the enemy, and he worked with Obi-Wan, and he soon put many older Jedi to shame," Leana chimed in. "But he did have a sweetheart, despite his Jedi oath, and the Separatist and the Sith all knew his name."

"Well, he won a string of battles from Naboo to Christophis," Lumina sang. "And the Separatists just couldn't seem to pin him down. And it served his legend well, for the clone troops loved to tell, about how Anakin Skywalker fought the war."

"Well, one bad day Palpatine cornered Annie," they all sang. "And he said, 'Kill the Jedi, even the kids.' And he led his clones as a Sith, and to the Temple went pouring in, and the Republic's downfall, was due to Skywalker.

"Well, he then became the enemy, yes, he fought with Obi-Wan, and he assumed Darth Vader as his new name. He ended up killing his sweetheart, and completely broke his Jedi oath, and a lot of people wished he was in the grave.

"From a town known as Mos Eisley, Tatooine, flew a boy, with the Force at his command. And his daring life as a Jedi, will make him a legend in his time, east and west of the Hydian Way."

For a long moment, Luke just looked at them. "I fail to see how that's supposed to make me feel any better."

"What do you mean? It's awesome!" Ben exclaimed. "I mean, it's probably less awesome when you're directly descended from the guy in the song, but still."

"Now that I think of it, I fail to see it, too," Lucas admitted. "But it's just fun."

Luke just shook his head and wandered off to stand with Leia at the viewport overlooking the fleet. The four looked at each other, and made to follow, but the air shimmered before them and Qui-Gon Jinn appeared, blocking their path to Luke, Leia, C-3PO, and R2-D2.

"Qui-Gon!" Leana breathed.

"Leana, Ben, Lucas, Lumina," the Jedi Master greeted, nodding at each in turn. "Your first mission ends now."

The four exchanged glances. "So," Leana started tentatively. "How did we do?"

"You did all right, but not good enough," Qui-Gon told them. "You need to try harder to change the story if you are to succeed in your ultimate quest. But as a start, it was good."

"It's harder to change the story than I thought," Lumina admitted. "There were times I wanted to change something, but couldn't because it was simply the only way."

"And there were times where dialogue changed," Lucas pointed out. "Or moved to a different part of the scene."

"The others were reacting to your presence there," Qui-Gon explained. "Altered dialogue is a good sign, but more must be done if you really want to change the ending."

"I do have a question," Leana said, frowning. "When Luke and I were on Dagobah, Yoda kept making references to things from our world. Like Harry Potter, and Prince, and Panic! At the Disco. How come he knew about all of those things?"

Qui-Gon smiled faintly. "It is because of you four. By crossing into our world, you have brought your culture with you, which instantly makes its mark on the characters of Star Wars. Be prepared for more such references on your next mission."

All four straightened. "When and where?" Lumina asked.

"Not yet," Qui-Gon answered, causing all of them to slump and look disappointed. "Soon, but first, you will be able to go home and rest. You have several more tests in front of you before your final mission."

With that, Qui-Gon faded away and the next thing Leana knew, she was falling through space, the white room of the medical barge elongating and then vanishing to be replaced with dull grey and the noise of a crowd.

Leana stumbled as her sneakers stubbed the concrete, her body flailing through the turnstile bars. She managed to regain her balance before falling on her face, but not before earning several strange looks from those surrounding her.

Lucas, Lumina, and Ben staggered through the turnstiles after her, their momentum carrying them through. As the four of them ended up on the subway platform, it took Leana a moment to realize what they were doing there.

"Star Wars!" she exclaimed, feeling in her jeans pocket for her ticket. Miraculously, it was still there, despite everything. Then Leana realized she was wearing her blue sweatshirt, jeans, and sneakers, even though she had last been wearing a med tunic and boots. All of them, in fact, were back in their regular clothes.

Lumina gave a small laugh. "Star Wars is right."

"What the hell is also right," Lucas managed, rubbing his forehead. "As in, what the hell just happened?"

"A dream come true," Ben said. "And like dreams, it makes a little less sense now that we're back."

"But we know one thing for sure," Leana said, giving them a slight grin. "Qui-Gon said we were going back, soon."

"Not soon enough," Lumina replied, and the four knocked their fists together. "So, shall we see this movie?"

"Haven't we had enough of Star Wars for one day?" Lucas asked. Then he grinned at the shocked looks on his friends' faces. "Of course not, that's impossible. Let's go!"

And the four hurried over to wait for the subway, knowing that watching one of the new movies just wouldn't be the same as living through one of the classic ones.

But soon we'll go back.

Leana couldn't wait.