Poems from the Dead

Middle Girl

I am the middle girl

Not thin enough to be pretty, but not big enough to have people tell me I'm beautiful no matter what

Not thin enough to fit into those jeans, but not big enough for others to see as big and beautiful

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not pretty enough to be cute, but not unconventionally attractive enough for people to tell me I have a rare beauty

Not pretty enough to look like the girls on billboards, not unconventionally attractive enough to be one of those people brands use to seem inclusive

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not traumatized enough to have PTSD, but traumatized enough to have a hard time functioning

Not traumatized enough to wake up in a cold sweat, but traumatized enough to apologize at everything, to hate shorts

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not put together enough to be normal, but not so broken that people think I really should get help

Not put together enough to sleep the right amount, but not so broken that I am actively self harming

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not dumb enough to not care, but not smart enough to get it all right

Not dumb enough to be in on level classes, but not smart enough to be in them either

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not pleasant enough to talk with that I can have lots of friends, pleasant enough that people want to try and get to know me

Not pleasant enough for people to like me if we talk for too long, but pleasant enough that people want to talk too long

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not enough to make you happy, but enough that people don't care about how it hurts me

Not enough for others to like me, but enough that people don't see me in the group of people left out by everyone

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not scared enough to be considered dainty, but scared enough to be considered a buron

Not scared enough to hate bugs, but scared enough to need a hand to grasp to in the dark

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Not smart enough to not care, but smart enough to know it will hurt me in the end

Not smart enough to not get attached, but smart enough to see my doom coming

I am the middle girl

I am the middle girl

Brave enough to think those harsh words, but cowardly enough to not say them

I am the middle girl and I say why