|1| Promise Me ✦ {Bucky Barnes}

Chapter 14: Lost in the Moment

"Neither do we," Tony ended the call and let out a sigh, before walking over to Clint. He and Tony were the only ones who didn't encounter Wanda. The rest of us either sat in silence or paced around the jet, either feeling sorry for ourselves or sick to our stomachs. "Hey, you wanna switch out?"

"I'm good. If you wanna get some kip, now's a good time, cause we're still a few hours out," Clint responded. Where the hell were we going?

"A few hours from where?"

"A safe house." With that, Tony shrugged and started pacing around the room in silence. He wasn't even cracking jokes. He knew the severity of the situation. This wasn't the time.

I wanted to talk to somebody. Although Steve has his mind screwed with, he seemed to be the only one of us who made it out okay. But that wasn't an option right now. Steve barely wanted to talk to me on a good day, other than the odd snarky comment about lying to Bucky or something. He would want to hear it just as much as I would want to talk about it to him right now. There was nothing I could do. In frustration, I put my head back into my knees and wrapped my arms around them. But suddenly, I felt something in the pocket of my cargo pants. Something small and... box like?

A full pack of cigarettes. God, I wanted it right now. I wanted that whole pack. Cigs were the only things that would quiet my thoughts for a least a small period of time. There was no talking about it right now, no shoulder to cry on. Just me alone with my thoughts, and an inability to shut them up. I'd quit for six months now, and gotten rid of almost every cigarette pack I had. But I guess since I hadn't worn my suit in so long, there was still a pack in there. One wouldn't hurt, right?

Making sure I was out of sight from my teammates, I put one in my mouth and lit it. Sucking in that familiar smoke felt amazing. For a second, all memory of Wanda's vision was gone, and I could focus on how good sucking on the butt of that cigarette felt. I missed this.

Just as quickly as I lit up that cigarette, I finished it, and put it out of the wall of the jet. I wanted another one. Without thinking, I lit up another one and put it to my lips. Suddenly, every craving from the last six months was satisfied. If this was the only kind of good in my life right now, I'd take it.

"Hey, do you guys smell that?" Tony's inquired about the tone from across the jet told me he wasn't fucking around. Shit, shit, shit. I quickly put out the cigarette on the wall and shoved the pack and the used cigarettes in my pocket.

"Tony, if you let out a ripper, I swear to god-" Bruce threatened.

"Oh, no. I'd probably ask you guys if you smelled popcorn or something instead." Tony replied, "but I was talking about the ashtray smell that suddenly wafted over here." Steve's head suddenly whipped in my direction.

"I thought you quit!" The blonde accused.

"I did!" I shot back, "I just... it's been a long day, alright?!"

"Give me the cigarettes, Briar," Natasha stuck out her hand, "you quit six months ago, you haven't touched a cigarette until just now. We are not going through this again. Call it a mishap, and give me the cigarettes," her monotonous voice told me she wasn't in the mood to lecture me. Now wasn't the time or place. I huffed, and tossed her the pack and lighter, "thank you."

"I mean come on, Maddie. In the jet? Really-"

"Oh just shut the fuck up, Steve! You have no right to be telling me off anyway," I snapped. I heard a few of them let out a small 'woah.'

"No right? I've known you since you were ten years old! We've been friends since we were kids! Excuse me for trying to be a good one!" Steve retorted.