Life is random at the most unwanted times

Chapter One – Oliver Read -

I woke up to the sound of the early birds. The sound was familiar and normal like the life I was living now.

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It was 9:00 am and I was in maths - if there was such thing as the man who suffered the most boredom in The Guinness World Record I would be him. I scanned through all the algebraic trigonometry questions like I was a whirlwind aiming at my enemy’s house, if I had someone to hate. There were not many people to hate in this world – maybe Carla- unless if Hitler was suddenly reincarnated but I would not think that was possible, “It’s like getting blood out of a stone” – my mum's favourite saying – my mum says enough sayings to even confuse Einstein. “How are we getting on over here?” Miss Ernard asked me in her high squeaky voice, she checked my work and I got full marks. The bell rung shrill and loud everyone rose at the same time and swarmed into the school field. “Hey Olly, over here!” I knew that voice from anywhere it was Freddy, my football teammate, “we are starting to play a second match, wanna join?” I jogged towards them suddenly noticing that we were not playing against the usual opposition, we were playing against girls.

I was sure that we would win though they would probably stop halfway to nurse a broken nail or exclaim that they needed to check their hair. “Hey boys, you may have the skill but we have got the brains!” screeched Carla – the dumbest, most popular girl in the school – as if she has brains. I saw Harry getting a little annoyed after her jeering but he had the worst temper in our football team. “You don’t need the brains for football you need SKILL”, says Harry kicking the ball high into the air towards Kile who dodged it between the frozen girls. “Ha, if you had brains Carla you would have stopped me, WHO’S BETTER NOW—“a sudden splash of water hit his face and a bunch of giggles erupted from the girls “football team”. Harry was furious now but I could not stop laughing either. “Psst, Olly,” Freddy tapped me and pointed over to a pile of mud. I nodded. I scooped up a ball of the slimy mud and threw it right into Carla’s face – good aim I have to say. Hang on, that was the hugest mistake, a TERRIBLE wail came out of her mouth and it made me wince. “Jeez, girls it was only mud—, “ laughed Harry only to find more water was thrown into his face. “YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, OLLY,” Carla cried. Freddy was quick enough to throw another at her “designer” haircut. Suddenly every boy and girl (surprisingly) started to join in. I aimed at the most snobbiest girls in the school and the cries of pain sounded like I was in some war. Freddy looked like he was living every boys dream although he was caked in a thick layer of mud.

 “Would anyone tell me what is going on!?” the coldest voice echoed around the match area, turning heads and freezing aiming hands. Anyone one who messes with Mrs Bullen dies. Freddy had no idea why everyone had stopped and accidently (I hope) threw a mud ball that luckily just missed Mrs Bullen’s feet. “Detention, detention, DETENTION,” Mrs Bullen screamed at random people who were most caked in mud. “Caroline has apparently been hit by mud ball, was it you Oliver?” Mrs Bullen was standing so close to me that I noticed she had unnaturally small irises and bad breath. Inside my head I laughed at Carla’s smudged make-up now that she had taken away the mud – she was definitely faking the crying. “Er... yeah it was er.... me” I could not hold in the laughter and Freddy was silently shaking with laughter behind me making everybody on our football team suddenly erupt with laughter now and then. “Oliver Read and Fredrick Butcher,” I could just about see in the corner of my eye that Freddy was wincing at the sound of his full name, “DETENTION AFTER SCHOOL FOR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR!” Jeez, that was loud.

When I came back home after detention, my mum was slighted irritated at my attitude to Mrs Bullen. My dad was curious at what happened so I told him after mum had left. “Good one, son!” my dad laughed looking round the corner in case mum had come back from shopping. We had a long laugh about it until his boss rang up saying he was late for work. My dad, Martin Read, was always a trouble maker since he was one and a half (as soon as he could walk, he punched holes in my granddad’s old Land rover’s wheels) he is still troublesome and not to mention unorganised. One day I asked my mum why she married him. “Outside he is deep deep trouble but on the inside he isn’t that bad,” mum explained – like that made any sense. I yawned loudly and scrambled around the living room trying to find my history worksheet until I heard Maxi, my puppy, cough and sniff loudly in the dining room. “Maxi, Maxi!” I called loudly, “What are you up to today—?” There was something in between his teeth and a pile of white sloppy mess in the floor. “NO! Maxi that was my homework,” I felt bad because Maxi flinched and scurried away. I can imagine it, “Oliver Read, where’s your homework?” Mr Topson would ask. “My dog ate it….. he really did!” I would reply. Uh, oh this was not going to be good.