I BELONG WITH YOU

CHAPTER 9

I push him outside, into the dark alley. Where I punch him until he passes out. There, now I’m satisfied, I can finally sleep peacefully.

Suddenly I see a light coming, then two more, “hands up, we’re the police,” the fuck! “you’re under arrest for committing violence in public,” I turn around and see two police officers and a guy. Wait, I think I’ve seen him somewhere. Then it all clicks in. He came with Jake, so this was obviously a trap. Fuck! I angrily turn and face Jake, and the fucker smirks triumphantly. Turns out he also faked passing out. I now feel the urge to make him shut up forever.

                      **************

I’ve been in a police custody for a whole damn night. Somehow, the son of a bitch is a friend of a police officer around here, so yeah, no wonder I’m still held here. And it’s midmorning. They put me in a lockup, a messy lockup. If I think so much about this, then I’m going to get a headache.

I stand and start pacing, my mind running on a million scenarios. Why did Jake come to my bar? I don’t think the reason was just to lure me to beat him up, so I could end up in police. I think there’s more to this than meets the eye. Jake might be stupid, but not that stupid. He knows I’m an ex-military officer, he knows how brutal I am with my fists, he can testify to that. He also knows how pissed I get whenever I see him. And not to forget that motherfucker is a plotting son of a bitch. Shit. Everything now makes sense. My businesses. He wants my fucking businesses. The ones that I so worked hard for. That piece of shit would stoop at any level just to get what he wants.

“Son of a bitch!” I shout. I got into his trap. My anger got in the way and now it’s gonna cost me my businesses. The businesses I worked hard for. The ones I sweated for. Damn it! I punch the wall, hard.

“That must’ve hurt,” an old man that’s been staring at me for a very long time speaks. I look at him for the first time, and narrow my eyes at his face. He smirks, “what! You wonderin’ what an old man like me’s doin’ ‘ere,” he laughs.

But he’s wrong, it’s not about his age, “you kind of look familiar,” I tell him. And it is true. I don’t know where I’ve see him or when, but I’m pretty sure he looks familiar.

“Ho, ho, boy, I’m not a thief,” he laughs again, “I’m sure as hell don’t know you. And believe me boy, I remember every damn person I come across.” I’m sure he does.

I smile, “I’m sure I must’ve made a mistake then.”

“Sure did,” he smiles back, “I’m Blake btw, Blake Houston,” he introduces himself.

“Zed Thomas,” I tell him and give him a handshake.

“Oh, boy! If you stay here longer, we gon’ be good friends,” and I take a like to him pretty quick. He is a great guy and funny too. Told me a lot about himself, where he’s from and some stuffs. Turns out he is from Scotland, being in America for thirty years. His passport got stolen so he can’t leave the country. But he also has no desire to leave, because he’s got ‘a lot of shit to put together’, his words not mine. He also told me the reason he is in a lockup. Some spiteful ex doesn’t want see him walk freely around the streets. So she uses her money to make up stories so he would end up behind bars.

“Tough!” I tell him, “why don’t you just leave the city,” I ask him. He looks at me as if I’ve grown a second head.

“Same reason to why I wouldn’t leave the country?” he raises his both eyebrows. As if telling me I’m this much stupid. Then he laughs and asks, “why you here boy?”

I sigh, I’m ashamed to say my reasons, but I tell him anyway, “I was set up,” I say in a low tone. Still feeling mad about whole this shit.

“Hey be calm dear boy, that don’t mean you’n idiot,” he smirks, “least you’ve learned your lesson. That’ll make it easier for you to deal with ‘em,” he finishes up.

I stare at him, “guess you’re right.” He laughs again. Gosh, he loves laughing. We get along so well. He knows how to crack jokes and make someone forget their problems. Then a police guard comes.

“Zed Thomas! Your time’s up captain,” he opens the door for me.

I turn to Blake and suddenly feel sad to leave him here. I already feel connected to him within a little time together. “So ummh when are you getting out of here,” I ask him.

He smiles, “don’t worry yaself ‘bout meself dear boy, just go out there and don’t come back here,” he says, “oh,” then he whispers to me, “and don’t forget to teach that motherfucker a lesson,” and he winks. I smile at that. This guy has a very good sense of humour. He is a nice man, so why the hell is he here. That question bothers me, a lot.

“Do you have someone to bail you out?” I ask him again because I’m concerned about him.

But he just laughs, “come on, just go. Don’t worry about me kiddo, I’ll be fine, always have been.” He salutes me in a friendly way and waves me off.

So I leave. Although with a very heavy heart. I’m worried about Blake, an old man I just met few hours ago. A man who captured my heart in a very loving way. But I have to leave anyway. Because I have a very ass problem to deal with right now, so I have to set my emotions of any kind at bay. I turn and take a glance at him for the last time, and then turn and disappear.

When I reach in the station’s office, I’m greeted with my general. His expression is very serious and unreadable like always. I salute to him, he doesn’t return back the gesture. Instead he turns his angry face to the officer.

“You know it is against our agreement to hold our people hostile,” he speaks with a calm voice. But I can tell he is not calm at all. “Give me a good reason why I should not report you to your higher ups.”

The officer speaks, “he beat up a civilian pretty hard, he is in a critical condition.” I scoff, the officer turns to me, “his family wants it settled at court.”

“He set a trap for me,” I say this to my general, but he doesn’t even look my way. Shit.

“What does he want?” the general asks me without looking my way.

“One of my business, or maybe both,” he turns to stare at me for a minute then turns back to face the officer.

“He will not give up anything,” he states to the officer in a low voice. A menacing voice. A dare.

“Well, I’m not the one you should be saying this to, the case’s out of my hands,” the officer draws up his hands in surrender. Then he goes to his desk and gives me a document. “Everything is in there. Goodbye gentlemen.” He salutes my general and I.

I stare at my general and he nods. We depart the police station and get to his car.

“What were you thinking doing something so stupid like this?” general growls. No shit. He is angry. Freaky angry.

I shut my eyes and take a deep breath, “I didn’t know it was a trap,” I tell him in a low voice.

“And does that make a difference?” no it doesn’t. Fuck, I rub my face with the palm of my hands. “Listen, you’ve got to not let emotions rule you. Use your head young man.” He squeezes my shoulder. “How long has he been disturbing you?” he asks quietly.

“About a month now.”

He nods, “and he knows you’re quick-tempered,” he nods again, “we’ll see what they’ve in stored for us.” Then he starts the car and drives. And I open the document and start reading.

Mr. Gregory, my general, takes me straight to his house. When we arrive there, his wife greets us. I walk to the balcony and wait for the general while he speaks with his wife. Damn these old couple are so loving and caring for each other. I envy their relationship. Wish I had something like this with the woman I loved. Wish I had something which my parents had.

I close my eyes, remembering my parents. They died when I was twelve. I was an only child to them. One day, when they were travelling on a vacation, their plane crushed. They died right away on a plane crush. Then Mr. Gregory who was a close friend of my father and a cousin took me in. He enlisted me in the army and trained me himself so I could become stronger. Nobody in the army knows of our relationship, and I’d like for it to remain that way.

Mr. Gregory comes to the balcony with a notepad. “Have you figured out what he wants,” he asks me as he sits beside me.

“It says here, that the victim will withdraw the assaults if I give him what he wants. They didn’t write what,” I look at him.

He sighs, “I called Reynold, we’ll wait for him and see what advice he’ll give us.”

“I’m sorry, I disappointed you,” I lower my head.

“Zed, I know how much you hate that son of a bitch, but next time don’t let your anger become your master. You’ll ruin yourself more,” then in a whisper he says, “and I don’t want that to happen to you. I don’t wanna loose you. You’re like a son to us, to Freda.” He stares at me, letting his unsaid message sink in my head. And I understand what he means. See, Mr. Gregory and his wife never had a child. So when they took me in, they treated me like their own. Especially Freda, his wife, she calls me his son, and tries to make me not to miss my parents much.

“I’m sorry, I’ll never let you down again.” I promise him.

“I know,” he nods, “I know.” And then the balcony door bursts open.

“Now, if this isn’t my favourite person,” Freda enters with a tray and places it on the table. Then she turns to me and gives me a kiss, “my, you’ve grown so much.” She scowls. And that is her asking me why I’ve not been coming home.

I smile at her, “hello, Freda, miss you too.” I stand to hug her, “and you’re still young and pretty like always,” I tell her, making her laugh.

“How is my boy,” she asks me.

“Good! And happy to see you, young lady,” I wink at her.

“I’ve been missing you. You should be visiting me a lot,” she kisses my cheek, “now, I should leave you two alone,” she turns to leave, then speaks again before disappearing inside, “and Zed dear, you’re not leaving today.”

I grin at her comment, when I turn I see her husband watching her wife disappearing figure, “she doesn’t want to age.”

He gives me a little smile, “you should be coming here often, she just doesn’t say it, but she is lonely, she needs someone.” He tilts his head, facing the other side, “she wants a grandchild.”

Damn it, I sigh. Ever since I left the army, Freda has been nagging me to give her grandkids. She used to say to me, that was a right time for me and Nyssa to have kids.

“Uncle........”

“Yeah, I know,” he nods, “I understand. But it’s..... shit!” he gets serious, “lets finish this thing first, then you and I, will have a real talk.” He picks up the papers and goes through them.

When Reynold, the family lawyer arrives, we discuss about my case and the possibility of me winning it. When we finish discussion, Reynold stands, “I know someone who can give us some grounds to cover. So leave this to me.” And then he bids us farewell and walk away.

“Don’t worry, I trust Reynold to take care of this,” Mr. Gregory speaks to me. I respond with a nod. Because I too trust Rey, he always gets his job done without a problem. My uncle sighs and stands, “in the meantime you dear boy, have got some training to do.”

I quickly look up at him, “wait,” he raises his eyebrow, “you mean I’m going back to the base?” I ask him for more clarity.

But he doesn’t reply instead he says, “I hope you haven’t forgotten that I have a training ground here.” He gives me a serious look, and then dismisses me. Letting me dwell on my question. What was the meaning of that, does it mean I’m finally going back to the army? Or what? Damn it! I just can’t predict my uncle, he is so unreadable.

After we’re done with the training, I go to my room, the room I used since I was a kid. I shower and after dinner, I excuse myself and walk to the balcony. My head in too deep thoughts. I remember my uncle’s words about the army.

What if he has pardoned me, will I be able to leave everything and go back in the army? Will I have the guts to go back there again? Will I forget everything else and focus there? And more, will I burry this feeling that’s growing inside of me whenever I remember her? Will I ever forget her? Question after question keep crawling to my head. Questions I have no answers to. About my life after military, about my business, and more about her, Bella. I close my eyes, ah, Bella! The woman who lit a fire within me. A fire of pure lust and desire just for her. A fire that, no matter how hard I try to put out, it keeps burning, just for her. I can’t seem to forget about her, no matter how hard I try to. She makes me crave a relationship I’ll never have. She makes me want to have her, just for myself. Although, deep down I know I’ll never have her, still there’s a part of me that wants to be selfish.

“Damn it!”

“Anything wrong honey?” I open my eyes and see Freda walking towards me. I didn’t even see her coming, “being here for so long,” she gets near me, “I brought you this,” she shows me a small blanket she was carrying. And then she covers me with it, “now, tell me what is bothering me.”

I love Freda. She was around after the death of my parents. She mothered me and made me feel loved, cherished, and secured. She also taught me a lot of things about life. And whenever I had a problem, she would notice it before I even tell her. We share that kind of bond.

“When I see that guy, I just feel like killing him, over and over again.” She doesn’t wince. She doesn’t even ask whom I’m talking about. Because she knows. She’s been there when Nyssa family tried to kill me after their daughter’s death. She knows what kind of jerk Nyssa’s brother is. She knows it all.

“Sometimes violence isn’t the answer to your problems,” she speaks softly. Then she holds my hand and caresses me, “but, that isn’t what is bothering you right now. It is something else, I can tell.” Told you she notices everything, didn’t I. “You can tell me about it,” she pauses, “is it about the army?” I stare at her, making her elaborate, “your uncle told me about the email you wrote him. Do you feel that you’re ready to go back?” she asks, her face displaying concern.

I answer her honestly, “I’m not sure yet. I just...... I just feel that I should go back.”

She holds my gaze for a beat then, “why? Because you feel like you betrayed your uncle when you decided to leave?” she is right. Sometimes, I would beat myself up for it, “or is it because of the nightmares you have after her death?” she so damn right. Then she adds, “or is it something else?” I look at her, “is it about a woman?” damn it. Why does she have to know it all, even without me opening my mouth.

I try to say something, anything, even deny it all. But I can’t, this is Freda we’re talking about. She knows me more than anyone. So instead, I nod, agreeing to all she said, “you’re in love.” It’s not a question, but a statement, “but you want to fight it, why?” she frowns.

And I muster all the courage I have and admit to her something that I never admitted to anyone, “because I don’t deserve to be happy,” I face her and harden my face, “I don’t deserve her or anyone. I’m a murderer, I killed the woman I loved. I don’t deserve her, she deserves better.”

“Yet you can’t let her off your mind.”

I look away, “I can’t do anything about it. I won’t.”

Freda touches my left cheek, “son, sometimes we do selfish things. We make selfish decisions. Not because we deserve them, but because we’re trying to change, we’re trying to be better. If you don’t act upon what your heart desire, you’ll regret this later. Just give it a try and see how things work.” I stare at her, but she just smiles and pats my cheek. “Love you son.” She kisses me and walks away.


BELLA


“No!” I’m shuffling in my shelf, searching for a certain file, a bit urgently.

“Bella, we’re old friends,” my former nemesis, competitor speaks.