I will be okay, I've always been able to convince myself of that. No matter what the circumentaces are, I'd always smile and laugh. No matter what happened to hurt me or others, I was able to crack jokes and cheer others up.
So what happens now that I'm alone. I have friends in the physical sense, but I feel like they aren't there in the emotional sense. I am the happy-go-lucky friend and god forbid that I feel any emotion beyond happiness or any variation of it.
All of the people around me have somebody to lean on when they're at their lowest. I was the one who was leaned on at one point in time. As fate would have it, I am now the one who needs someone to lean on.
Everyone that I know has a pillar to support them as they crumble. Now that I think about it, I never had that pillar in my life. I always was the pillar, never the other way around.
I have a question for you reader. What happens the villian becomes the hero? In a similar sense, what happens when the emotional support friend is the one who needs emotional support?
What happens when the emotionally invulnerable is ready to be emotional vulnerable? When the loud, annoying and chaotic friend loses all their energy to be so?
Or when the friend who usually refuses to accept help is the one pleading for someone to hear him out and help him. Never with words though.
Did you know that I tried asking for help from my family once, reader? It didn't work. I didn't get the help I needed. I dropped hints for weeks, I even noticed that I was acting different. They didn't though, they just said that I was getting lazier than I used to be.
They're the reason that I don't ask for help when I need it. They asked why I couldn't talk to people once. The answer is both simple and obvious. Putting emotions in words, having to admit what you feel verbally, is much more diffucult than writing them out.
I once had to admit that I had been replaced, that I was recyclable. If there's anything you must know, its that it hurts more to be recyclable than to be thrown away.
Tommy looked reread what he wrote, checking for spelling errors, finding there were none. He noticed that he had tears streaming down his face, slow and steady much like a real stream. He decided that maybe he should take a rest. And so he did.
A/n:
MCC POG.
LETS GO RED RABBITTS!
love all of you, take care
of yourselves and remember
that you're valid <3
-------sincerely,
Kitty
YOU ARE READING
War- Torn Child Turned Author with Anxiety
FanfictionTommy knew something was wrong with him, but he just thought that it was trauma like Puffy said. So what happens when all you can see is friendship and your mind tells you that you'll never get that feeling of being close to someone again? Simple...
