Every Rose has it's Thorn.

Chapter 16 - Stay?

"Do you want to shower before we get too settled?" He asked me.

"Actually yes. I don't think that shower gel at the rape suite is agreeing with me," I slowly untangled myself from his embrace, "do you want to go first?"

"Do you mind? I feel like I need to scrub away the memory of Jonah -,"

"Of course, I can totally understand that. I have already showered once, you go and do that now, I will go in after you," I offered.

"Or I could just go into one of the other rooms to shower. Would you be ok with that?"

"I think I can handle that, yes," I nodded.

"I will be as quick as I can, I promise," he softly dropped a kiss to the top of my head before he got up and headed towards the door to the room.

I have to say, my brother had practically thought of everything. Before we had come to the hotel, we had stopped at a 24-hour supermarket so that Jeremy could grab some essentials - shower gel, shampoo, toothpaste and brush, underwear. Everything that you could imagine a man would need for an impromptu overnight stay at a hotel.

Once I was alone, I grabbed my bag and opened it to find my shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, and brush in the side compartment of the bag and I grabbed the fresh underwear and the red flannel PJ's that Hailey had packed for me. I couldn't thank her enough for this - everything I needed for comfort was inside this bag. I was so lucky to have the people I did around me. I can't even imagine what would have happened to me if I had been all alone here when Jonah had done what he did tonight.

Would I be lying dead in a morgue right now?

Hell, would anyone, have even known what happened? I could be still lying on my kitchen floor. Fuck, Jonah could have decided to drag his attack out. He could have made it last for days if he had wanted. Another shudder rendered me immobile at the thought as my breath began to race, shallow intakes of air barely filling my lungs, my chest beginning to constrict and tighten as lights flash around the outskirts of my vision. Dropping onto the bed; my head dropped to between my legs as I tried to regulate my breathing. I know this is a panic attack - I have had them before but that knowledge doesn't calm the irrational fear inside of me.

How close had I really come to dying tonight?

Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 6 seconds and breathe out of 8 seconds. I tell myself over and over, forcing my body to comply with my thoughts and after a few moments the panic begins to ebb away. All that is left in its wake is a weak and trembling shell. I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel less of a person, and I don't know how I am ever going to be able to fix that or get past it.

Once I felt more in control of my faculties, I gathered up my stuff and made my way into the en-suite, turning on the shower; I let it heat up while I brushed my teeth and washed my face.

What was happening to Jonah right now?

Was it wrong that I was thinking about him? I know that it isn't anything more than self-preservation at this point. Knowing where he is, what is happening to him - directly correlates to how safe I can feel. Or how much I can let my guard down.

I mean, it is highly unlikely that, even if he isn't in police custody right now, that he would know where to find us, but there is nothing rational about the fear I am now feeling. Stepping under the jet of water, I closed my eyes and tried to push all thoughts out of my head. I would have to find a way to switch my brain off if I planned on getting any sleep at all tonight.

A Couple of Hours Later;
Jeremy Irvine...

The inside of the suite was so quiet and still that you could have heard a pin drop. Outside the buzz of traffic had begun to steadily grow as the sun rose into the sky - the city coming alive with commuters making their way to start their working day. However, everyone in this suite was fast asleep; on my way back from taking my shower earlier, I had heard the moans coming from Jay and Hailey's room - it appeared to me that things were finally getting back to normal for them - which in my opinion was a good thing. It was clear to anyone who spent any amount of time with them that they belonged to one another. Hell, just looking at them you could see their connection to one another. The subtle way they touched one another, the love in their eyes when they looked at one another and the familiar and easy way in which they communicated.