When Things Fall Apart

chapter 51

“Nanay..” humarap ako kay Mavin na nag aalala. Hawak hawak niya ang kanyang ipad at iniharap sa akin.

Para akong pinatay noong makita ang nandoon. It was Stefan and Jesy's video. They are kissing! My son's teary eyes made me cry. Kinuha ko ang ipad niya at pinatay 'yon. He looks surprised and hurt..

“T-That's Dada..” he whispered. Tumango ako at lumuhod sa harap niya.

“A-Ayos ka lang ba, Nanay?” he asked worriedly. I felt needles piercing my heart. Tumango ako at yumakap sa kanya.

“I'm fine, Mavin.. I'm worried of you.” bulong ko at niyakap siya. He didn't hugged me back, he just stands there and it broke my heart million times.

“Don't be, Nanay. Let's go to Paris without him.” he said and kissed my head. Umiling ako.

“He'll come with us. He promised you that..” ngiti ko sa kanya. Nawala ang ngiti ko noong makita ang mukha ng anak ko. He looks.. different..

“I don't want to see him anymore, Nanay.” he left me alone, kneeling and crying.

Napahagulgol ako dahil sa sinabi niya. He's mad! I know he's hurt.. I am more hurt..

I wiped my tears and called Gen. I told him that someone sent the video of Stefan and Jesy's kissing on Mavin's ipad. I don't know how that happened!

“How's Mavin?” nag aalalang tanong sa akin ni Gen. I glanced at him, he's on the sofa, watching. There's no glimpse of happiness in his eyes while watching his favorite cartoons. He's just staring at TV, blankly.

“He's not talking to me.. He's silent..” mahinang sagot ko at pinunasan ang aking mga pisngi. Tears won't stop streaming. My son looks grieving silently..

“That fucking bitch,” Gen cursed. Napapikit ako at huminga ng malalim.

Pumasok ako sa kusina at kumuha ng ice cream. Inayos ko ang itsura ko bago lumapit sa kanya sa sofa. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at inilapag ang ice cream sa lamesa.

“Mavin, you need to talk to Nanay..” mahinang sabi ko at iniabot ang ice cream sa kanya. He accepted it but he never glanced at me.

“I'm just mad, Nanay..” he lowly said.

“You can vent your anger on me, baby..” sabi ko at sinubukang ngumiti.

“How could him do that to you?” mahinang tanong niya sa akin. Bakas ang galit sa boses niya.

“Will you listen to him if he'll explain?” tanong ko sa kanya. He shook his head.

“He's cheating,” he stated. Napakurap ako dahil doon.

“Let's just go, Nanay. We don't need him.” he said and glanced at me.

“Mavin!” hindi ko napigilan ang pagtataas ko ng boses dahil sa sinabi niya.

“He hurts you! He's cheating on you!” galit niyang sabi sa akin.

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita dahil sa sinabi niya. I fear this day.. Na baka isang araw, gumising ako na hindi na hahanapin ng anak ko ang kanyang ama, na baka isang araw ayaw na niya mabuo kami. I can see the anger of my son towards his father. He's a kid, he will not understand everything if I'll tell him..

Seeing him like this will be my death. My son looks so lost, angry and hurt. He's not crying.. The joy of his voice was gone.. The excitement and happiness was gone, too. He seems very different.. Tahimik lang at hindi makausap ng maayos.