jemina // sirius black

thirty-seven

**Aubrey's POV - leading up to the ceremony**

Esme came back to the astronomy tower after talking with Mum, and I could tell that they'd talked about Fred before she even sat down. Her eyes were downcast, her shoulders slightly slumped, and her eyes were even more bloodshot than before. 

We had gone up there after lunch. Fred had been trying to corner Esme all morning, and she was getting extremely frustrated that he wouldn't leave her alone. I borrowed Harry's cloak, talked Lilian into spending the day with us, and then dragged Esme up here. The one time that Fred had come up here looking for her, I tossed the cloak over Esme and lied to him. Lilian backed me up, said she was probably in her dorm room. 

When he finally left, Esme immediately began crying. She cried for a while, and then Mum's tiny little bird-shaped note found us. Lilian helped calm her down, and when Esme felt like it wasn't too obvious she'd been crying, she went to talk to Mum. 

Once she was back, she told us how Dad and Remus were, then murmured, "I think Mum's hiding something."

"What? Why?"

"She just... seemed really off. Like her mind was somewhere else, the entire time we were talking. She mentioned that she got a letter from Fran, gave me a half-assed explanation, and then just kind of half-listened as I told her what happened. I know she was trying to be supportive, but not pushy, and I know she's genuinely worried and wants to help me feel better, but it's just so obvious she's worried about more than me. There's no doubt in my mind that she's stressed out about something, but I have no idea what." 

"Well, what did she tell you about Fran's letter?" 

"She said that they actually found leads to Eveline, but it was looking like she was around bad people. That Fran and Emelia were scared," Esme furrowed her eyebrows, and I could tell she was trying to figure out how to explain what made her think Mum was hiding something. She was thinking about how to explain what she saw, "She was fidgety, more than usual. Her explanation was choppy, like, the way she explained it just seemed like she was being really careful with what words she chose to use. I actually had to pull her from her thoughts twice before we got around to talking about Fred."

Esme sighed heavily and looked out at the sky. Lilian and I watched her closely, waiting to see if she was going to say anything else. I realized she wasn't after a few moments. 

But I didn't know what to say. Was there anything I could say? To me, it sounded like Mum was definitely not telling Esme the full truth about what Fran found about Eveline. But it makes sense for Mum to hide things about Eveline from Esme. The falling out that they had was really bad for Esme, and it's still a pretty sensitive subject for her. 

And I was still pretty angry at Eveline for abandoning my sister, and even more angry that she ran away without any sort of explanation to her. I hoped she was alright, but I was holding a grudge because I knew Esme wouldn't. 

I knew that if Fran did tell Mum that she believed Eveline was in trouble or danger, Mum would not tell Esme until she was certain about what was going on. If Fran got a lead that Eveline was suddenly a stripper in America, Mum wouldn't tell Esme until Fran said that she had seen her with her own eyes. The last thing that Mum wanted to do was give Esme incorrect information about her once-upon-a-time best friend. 

If Fran thought that Eveline was actually, really dead, Mum wouldn't tell Esme until she saw her body with her own two eyes. If Fran thought that Eveline was a serial killer, Mum wouldn't tell Esme until she was arrested and convicted for the crimes. She didn't want Esme to worry for no reason. And Esme would worry.