Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to die.
It could be painful, or maybe not. Maybe it's instantaneous and you don't feel a thing.
Sometimes I think about how I'll die.
Maybe someone will kill me with a vengeance.
Maybe I'll kill myself with a heavy heart and broken spirit.
Maybe I'll live a long life, and die of old age.
Maybe I'll be a supernatural freak and outlive everyone I know and love.
Maybe I'll die in a freak accident, that could be pretty cool.
It's times like these my mind slips and each thought breaks down and multiplies.
One thought turning to a thousand, every word spoke around me being drowned out by the serene sound of silence as my mind fills to the brim with useless but questionably meaningful words all being tossed around in my circus of a mind.
it doesn't take much for me to get lost in thought.
ie:
Let me text my bestie, I wonder what she's doing
Okay, I texted her, now let me go watch netflix
It's been 10 minutes and she hasn't answered. Is she mad at me?
5 more minutes. She's probably mad at me.
I wonder what I did to make her mad.
Well today I woke up late and couldn't respond to her right away. Maybe she's mad at me for not answering fast enough.
What else did I do today?
Did she find something out?
Well what would she find out?
I didn't do anything, what could she have found out.
10 more minutes and i'm turning confusion to anger.
What's she ignoring me for?
I don't deserve this type of treatment. I'm a good person. I don't deserve to be ignored. When she answers me i'm gonna ignore her.
Maybe I'll ignore everyone.
Maybe I'll block everyone and delete social medias.
Maybe I'll stop talking to everyone.
Maybe I'll-
My phone dings.
"Hey girl 🥰 sorry I was doing the dishes, wyd?"
Oh, okay then. Forget all that. She loves me.
I guess that's all until next time my mind goes haywire and leaves every part of me a firey ball of thoughts.
YOU ARE READING
lost soul
Non-FictionA girl who struggles to find her soul, or reason for being. Throughout her life she as always felt different from the rest, whether that be looks, her way of thinking, or her life as a whole. She faces a lot of difficult trauma, but only has she gr...
