Better Days Quote Book

When You Need A Little Laugh

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Albert Einstein

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, oh man...I could be eating a slow learner." 

Lynda Montgomery  

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."

Jack Handey(?)

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

Groucho Marx

"I saw six men kicking and punching my mother-in-law. My neighbour said, 'Are you going to help?' I said, 'No, Six should be enough." 

Les Dawson 

"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

George Carlin 

"We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience."  

George Bernard Shaw

"When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course."

Peter F. Drucker