Chaos Makes The Muse (RTTOF PREQUEL - Liam's Memoir)

III

A smile that I can only see once in a lifetime. I tried my best to keep my admiration for her hidden, but I feel like I've been caught red-handed as our eyes lock while I am just outside their classroom passing by.

Hindi niya naman iyon malalaman just because our eyes locked for like 0.1 second, but for some reason I still panicked and immediately averted my gaze. I place my right hand in my chest as my heart keeps on reacting wildly when I see her smiling with her eyes while talking to Josh.

I wonder what kind of conversation they are having to make here smile like that. It suits her better whenever she smiles like that, and for some reason there's a part of me that's happy to see someone like that, but I can also feel the jealousy and threatened feelings that I just can't shrug off.

I want to be the main reason why she's smiling like that. I want to keep those smiles away from each other, as I am scared that they might also end up falling for that smile that caused havoc not just in my heart but in my whole being.

"Okay, ka lang?" Clark asked as he peeked at my science work sheets. "Paalam ka, sabihin mo maihi tayo." He said, kaya naman napabuntong hininga ako ata tumayo sa aking upuan para magpalaam sa subject teacher namin.

"Nakakagutom talaga ang science subject," Clark said as we made our way to the cafeteria. When he said bathroom break, what he actually meant was let's go and grab something to eat.

As we enter the cafeteria, ay unang naka kuha ng pansin namin ay si Josh na bumibili ng turon sa counter with two other girls with him, but she's not with him.

"Oh?" the three of us said in unison as we pointed out each other.

"Anong ginagawa niyo dito?" He asked anew. Both me and Clark looked at him, then the turon in his hand. "Ahhh... bathroom break?" Natatawang tanong niya dahilan upang matawa din kami at mapatango.

"By the way, this is Francine and Rhyzza; they just joined the club this morning; they're both from class 4," he said, mentioning the two girls who're currently with him.

The five of us decided to ditch our current subject and have a conversation in the garden of the school.

"What makes you guys join the club?" Rhyzza asked at Nauna naman sumagot si Clark.

"To try something new," he answered.

"I love reading books, and I just want to explore writing to see if there is hidden talent in this field," Francine said as she shrugged.

"I joined because Ethel and I just love to write stories and anything that came to our minds, parang pure hobby? I actually don't know. I just got told by our English teacher to join." Kibit balikat na saad niya.

So they're really closer than I imagined.

"I joined because of the idea of having a specific person be my muse." Deri-deritsong saad ko when I noticed they're all staring at me, waiting for my answer.

They all teased me because of my sudden confession, dahilang upang mapabuntong hininga nalang ako.

"Ayy ganun? Both of you and Josh have your own muse? Unfair talaga ng mundo," Francine said, which made me look at Josh, who is now pointing himself with a wondering look.

"Ako?" Nagtatakang tanong niya.

I felt like my heart was being squeezed and then ripped apart as he gracefully smiled and laughed when they mentioned Ethel's name.

"She'll kill me if she finds out that I'm writing about her." He laughs, dahilan upang bahagyang matawa don ang mga kasama namin. Pero ako? Hindi na ako natutuwa.

"And I think you guys misunderstood the connection that we have. Ethel and I are just like sister and brother as we're both raised together." Nakangiting saad niya at para naman akong nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib.


I immediately went home after we all grabbed some street food after our class dismissal.

"Ate!" I immediately went to my sister's rooms at Mukhang Nagulat Naman Siya Sa Biglaang Pagpasok Ko.

"Why? What's happened?" Natatarantang saad niya White, holding her book.

"Ate, can you check on me?" Saad ko at agad na lumapit sa kaniya at agad naman napuno ng pag-aalala ang mukha niya.

"Bakit? Masama ba pakiramdam mo?" She asked as he put down her book and placed her palm on my forehead. "Your temperature seems normal, naman."

"Bigla kasing naninikip yung dibdib ko kanina." I honestly said that, which made here alarmed.

"Ha? Bakit? Anong nangyari?"

I explained everything to her, which made her laugh, and then later on explained to me why I suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe.


This is the day I found myself having a real circle of friends aside from Clark since I entered high school and the day I experienced what jealousy felt like.