Lies || Ryan Blaney

0.7 - Coming Clean

Ryan

I saw Erin walk away from the festivities with Courtney following close behind her. My heart rate had picked up knowing that she didn't have a single idea of why we broke up. Fearing that she would find out a different way than me telling her, I told Bubba that I would be back and followed them. If Erin was going to learn that I was the one who fucked up the relationship, it would come from me.

As I walked away from the party that was all around me and followed them back to the bus area, my nerves picked up a bit. I couldn't understand why but in hindsight, it wasn't anything as to the feeling I was about to feel.

"When we're you going to say anything to Ryan or anyone?" I heard Erin ask. She had pulled Courtney over to my bus area and sat her down on a chair. I had set them out so I could chat with anyone that would sit with me and wasn't named Gianna.

Neither girl could see me as I stood off to the side, completely covered by the shadows from the next bus. I wasn't wanting to show myself until the last possible second, or until I had to.

"I don't know. Some people know about it but it's more complicated than I expected." Courtney sighed, moving her hands to sit in her lap to toy with them, something she did when she was nervous. Her comment had me freezing here, she was about to say it. Stepping out slightly from my hiding spot, I halted when Erin spoke again.

"What's so complicated about telling Ryan he's going to be a dad?"

Feeling like I had been sucker punched in the stomach, I moved away from the bus before I gave myself away. It was like my whole world stopped as my brain tried to process this information. I'm going to be a dad? Me with a child. My mind couldn't wrap around the news. Why hadn't Courtney told me? I deserved to know this. Oh right, we weren't allowed to talk. But that didn't stop me from showing up at her house. I didn't care about the rules then so why did it stop her from telling me this life-changing news?

Thinking about it, she'd have to be well into her pregnancy since we broke up a little over four months ago.

It all made sense now. From the weight gain to staying home more often; even the pickles and ketchup  I knew something was up with her then, I just didn't think she was pregnant. 

One thought had me questioning things, who all know about this? At that time, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning, I came face to face with Joey. His face was one of sorrow, obviously knowing that I found out. Of course, he would know,  she was around him and his wife all the time; hell even Brittany was pregnant. So they would bound to be close in due dates.

"I know it's a lot to take in. I've tried getting her to tell you sooner. Why don't you come with me and we'll talk." Not knowing what else to say or do, I just nodded my head.

Taking me back to his bus, he handed me a beer knowing it would help with the nerves. I took a long swig out of the Miller bottle and set it down on the counter. Where to start? I have missed everything. How did she even find out? Does she even know the gender? Every appointment she's had, she's had to do alone just so she wouldn't mess up our deal. Damn, do I feel like a shit human being?

"How far along is she?" I asked, pulling myself away from some shitty thoughts. It was a good place to start.

"Just a few weeks behind Brittany. Her due date is late February." Doing the math behind it, yep that's my baby. Running my hands through my hair, I felt like pulling it. Daytona five hundred was around then, was she just going to do all of it alone? Give birth while I was just starting a new season?

"Boy or girl?" My heart picked up again after asking it. I had to know what my child was. "It's a boy." My heart stopped when I heard that and tears filled my eyes. She was having a son, my son. Oh my God, I had to talk to her. Tell her everything; get them back. No, I need them back in my life; they are more important than anything.

"I need to talk to her."

He only nodded his head, agreeing with my decision. He was one of the few who knew and was pushing us both to talk to one another. Or so he has told me before. It all makes sense now. Not wasting any time I ran back to my bus, hoping they were still there. When I saw they were, I could only pick up my pace. Startlingly, Courtney only got out of the seat before I was pulling her close to me. Feeling the curve of her belly against me had me knowing everything was true. Setting my hands on her bump,  I felt my boy. A slight kick was sent my way. My heart soared, it was true. I was going to be a Dad.

"Ry, what are you doing?" Courtney asked, slightly confused by my actions. I couldn't blame her.

"I know about the baby, and now that I do, I want to be in his life." She stood stunned at my words. Erin took this moment to step away and give us some time. "Why didn't you tell me? I'd have been right by your side the minute you found out." I asked her, giving her just a little space from me but still keeping my hand in place.

"I wasn't going to risk you losing your job. I know it's always been your dream." Her eyes glazed over, as the voice went into a whisper.

"But you two are so much more important than that. If I had to, I would drop everything to be with you." Moving her hair away from her face. She moved away from my hand, seeming like I had shocked her.

"Then why didn't you in Roger's office? I was ready to just give up my dreams to have you by my side but instead, you throw me for a loop. Not speaking to me at all and then coming out with a girlfriend.  I just don't understand. Were you cheating on me?" Her cheeks had become red and blotchy from the tears and damn did it hurt seeing that. Moving back a step, she tried to get away from my grasp. Guess it's now my turn to come clean. Taking her face in my hands, I moved her long blonde hair out of the way so I could look into her eyes. That way she knows I am telling the truth.

"Gianna is a hired girlfriend by Roger. I never once thought about or wanted to cheat on you. I love you and only you."

I hadn't meant to say the last part but it come out too and it's the truth. I still love this woman. I would rather pull out my hair one piece at a time than ever have her think I would cheat on her again. 

Courtney looked like she was going back and forth with thoughts at this new information. With a long-winded sigh, she gave me a weak smile. "Why don't you come to my bus, I'll show you some pictures from my ultrasounds. I'm sure your sisters and parents would like to see the newest family member."

And Mr. Blaney finally knows he's got a son on the way. A little longer than most but some of the next ones will be a bit longer. I hope you like it! Who's your honest pick for Sunday? I know I'd love to see Ryan win but I have a gut feeling it'll be Brad or Joey.

- Stay Beautiful

Courtney S