Conflicted

Chapter 1: Summer

TW: ED, and addiction

*beep beep beep beep*

"God, shut up!" Scarlett groaned as she grabbed her phone to turn off her alarm... "FUCK it's already 7:30 am!! I must've overslept!"

She scrambled all over her room, rushing into the bathroom to take a shower as fast as she could. "Shit I'm gonna be late to Kylie's, I'm supposed to be there at 8:00". She rushed out of the shower, her hair soaking wet. "I don't even care if my hair is wet, I'm going to the beach anyways".

She shuffled into her swimsuit, grabbed her keys, and rushed out the door as fast as she could.

...

"Kylie I'm here!" she yelled as she stepped into her house.

"Finally you're always late" she groaned. "We have to go now or we are gonna be late" she mumbled.

Kylie Summers... she had been Scarlett's best friend for the past two years now and they were inseparable. Despite the fact that they were two school grades apart, there was actually only about a one-year age gap between the two, Scarlett was 16 and Kylie was 17. They were each other's person and no one could get between them.

"Hey Scar we are getting alc on the way there right?" Kylie asked with a smile plastered across her face.

"Of course we are it wouldn't be a proper beach trip without alc, now would it?" Scarlett joked.

...

"WOOOHOOO we're here bitches!!" Kylie screamed out the window as we pulled into the beach.

They had stopped by a drive-thru alcohol store on the way there that doesn't ID. They got a whole bottle of Pink Whitney and a case of Truly for dirt cheap.

They were at New Smyrna Beach, the place to be in central Florida during summer. Every teenager that wanted to drink and have a fun time was there and it was packed.

"Okay, what's the game plan?" Kylie asked as they were sitting in the car that was starting to heat up from the blistering sun.

"Well first ..." Scarlett said as she grabbed the Pink Whitney out of her bag. "We drink."

Scarlett and Pink Whitney had a long history together and it wasn't a good one. It went down so easy that nearly every time she had it she ended up being sick, but she didn't care, she was happiest when she was drunk. It took away everything she hated about herself and left her with only a fun outgoing version of herself. Yeah, it had repercussions, but as she always said...

"I'm here for a good time not a long time" and she downed about a quarter of the bottle in one go.

"Jesus Scar save some for the rest of us"

"Sorry!" Scarlett let out with a smirk on her face. Even though she said sorry she wasn't, she'd paid for most of the alc and she was gonna have as much as she wanted.

Scarlett handed off the bottle to Kylie so she could take a swig. Kylie didn't need much to feel something though, she was a 5'2 fairly skinny teenage girl that didn't drink that often. Scarlett on the other hand was a 5'7, not fat, but not skinny high school girl who drank all the time.

"Okay let's go walk out on the beach, hurry up!" Kylie said as she grabbed her nic and stumbled ou the car.

Scarlett grabbed a truly, which she really didn't need after all that Whitney downed, but she grabbed it anyways. She also grabbed her nic on the way out of the car stumbling after Kylie.

Scarlett had been vaping since 7th grade, everyone told her how horrible it was for her and how she should stop, but she didn't care. She liked the buzz, the feeling of floating even if it was just for a second. It calmed her nerves and she loved it. Kylie started doing it with Scarlett when she first met her. She had always wanted to do it but never had anyone to help her figure out the ropes. Everyone yelled at them to stop even their parents, they didn't care. They knew how bad it was for you, but once you're addicted to the feeling and you love it there's no stopping you.

"Oh hey I think Josh, Nick, Elijah, Sarah, and Elena are here should I call them?" Scarlett asked.

"Yes omg, I haven't seen Elena and Sarah in ages and I miss them so much... plus Nick is there.." Kylie looked at Scarlett and they burst out laughing.

"I know damn well why you wanna see Nick" Scarlett prodded.

"Oh just shut up," Kylie said blushing.

Nick and Kylie had been on and off talking over the summer but had never actually hung out before. They were cute together and Scarlett knew she really liked him, but would never admit it.

...

"Oh, there they are!" Scarlett pointed at the truck blaring music, crammed full with drunk high schoolers.

"Hey, Elena!" Scarlett screamed running over to hug her.

"I missed you so much, how has summer been?" Elena asked. They all rambled on for a bit catching up on life.

...

"Hey guys can we sit in the truck, I'm fucking dying of heat" Elijah pleaded, as he started to turn on the AC in his car.

They all hopped in. Nick and Kylie sat together of course. Josh and Elena sat together, which almost felt illegal. Josh was one of Elena's best friend's exes and if she found out that they had been making out only about 2 minutes ago Elena would be as good as dead. Sarah and Elijah also sat together, they were both just two horny teenagers that wanted to fuck around. And then there was me. No surprise, I'm usually the one third-wheeling, but this was practically seventh-wheeling and it sucked.

I sat there regretting all that Whitney I had. Everything was spinning and I was fucked, and everyone could tell.

"Hey, Brown you good back there?" Elijah asked, somehow managing to escape Sarah's grasp to ask me.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm all good" I replied. That was a lie, I was far from good. I couldn't even make the world around me one singular picture, it was just a blur of a thousand.

And that's when I felt a feeling in my stomach I knew all too well. I jumped out of the car throwing up all the Pink Whitney I had downed way too fast. I hated the feeling of throwing up, but at the same time, I loved how it made me feel afterward, skinny. The things I would do to look like every girl sitting in that truck, but all I could do right now was yack up any liquid I had left. Maybe drinking on an empty stomach wasn't the best idea, but no way in hell was I showing up to the beach after eating a whole meal. I couldn't. My brain, my body, everything told me not to eat before I went and I listened. Of course, I listened, I always do, and look where I ended up, yacking on the side of a fucking truck.

"Hey Scar you need anything?" Kylie said as she watched my body hurl itself over once more. "Here's some water you need to drink it right now." she pleaded.

"I know I know just give me a second". Kylie was always there for me, no matter how bad I messed up. She was always there unlike everyone else, even through the throwing up, the crying, the screaming. She was my person and the only person that had never let me down. She was the only person in the world I trusted.

I downed the water on my way back to Kylie's car. I just needed to get out of there, I was mortified. I tumbled into the backseat and let out a sigh. I grabbed my nic from where I placed it on the side of my bathing suit bottoms and inhaled everything that made my anxiety go away. I know it's bad to say I love the way I can feel the smoke fill my lungs as I watch it pour out of my mouth, but I do.

I sat there smoking, contemplating getting up and going back when I suddenly got the urge to pee. The alc had gone straight through me and I was literally about to pee my pants.

I plunged out of the car to go to the bathroom, all in a rush when-

"Oh shit! I'm- I'm sorry" I mumbled.

I looked up and our eyes locked. Holy shi-