Autism Awareness: How I Overcame Domestic Abuse, Sexual Assault & Drug Addiction

Part 11: My Biggest Regret

So their was this girl that I talked too and she seemed amazing. The only problem was that she cared too much about her friends opinions too much so we didn't last for too long.

So we decided to stay friends, this hurt me because I liked her but sometimes you've just gotta play the cards that your dealt.

So I introduced her to my best friend. As me and him were getting high he bets me that he can shag her. I thought that's a sick thing to bet on but I never expected anything better from an animal like him. Back then I was so far up his arse to see him for what he truly was but we'll get to that.

So as we smoke more and more I eventually take him up on his best. I regret lowering myself to his level. I can't take it back but I can change.

So days go on and he begins to get attached to this girl. But he smoked way too much weed and messed things up between them. So she ends up coming to me for comfort and I have no idea how but we ended up on the conversation of her nudes. She ends up sending and I end up sending some back. It's not like I'd never sent one before but this was my best friends girl. So he looses his shit, and I thought fuck it, he's shagged so many people he knew I liked just to spite me so I thought why not. So one day we arranged to sleep together. So she comes over. It was just me and my dad in since he works from home. So we go upstairs. I lay on the bed and I look at her and say so what now? She then grabs me, gets on the bed and starts kissing me. I'll miss out all the sexual details. So then we're laid their. It wasn't even good sex, it just happened. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't ok either. To break the silence she sticks her feet in my face and asks me to smell her sweaty feet. We laugh about it and then talk about random shite.

As we were doing the deed I got a text message. After the silence and we were back talking I checked my phone. It was a friend asking if she can come over so I thought why not and I invited her down. My night was about to end up awkward and twisted. Little did I know that this day was gonna end up with me feeling like such an awful human being.