til death do us part - (Book 5 of M3 Saga) ▶️

Death Do Us Part Update

Hi Friends,

I know I kind of abandoned you with this book, so let me explain 😬

I want to start off by first saying 'thank you'.

Thank you for indulging in my crazy imagination. Thank you for finding joy in my stories. Thank you for empathizing with my characters. Thank you for holding space for me as a person. Thank you for encouraging me as an author and supporting my craft.

I feel incredibly fortunate to have this community of readers who not only enjoy my work but have come to like me as a person because of my work. I have never had a centric role. I have always been the supporter, the giver, the encourager. That's where I thrive and where I feel my best self.

I would have never imagined in a million years that I'd build any kind of following let alone the kind that likes the madness in my head. Writing allows me to express a part of myself that I keep hidden from most people. So thank you for accepting a very raw part of me that even those closest to me don't get to see.

You guys know why I started writing in the first place. I kept saying it as if I were trying to remind myself of something. And it just suddenly hit me:

Every single story I've written was written while I was depressed and dealing with internal trauma.

I'm having a really really really hard time coping with this fact.

Because I know what my stories have done for me. I know how they've helped me and how they've healed me. But there's a part of me that's really disturbed by that as well. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. Like... what does one of my stories read like when I'm not depressed? Would I even still want to write? Am I writing only because I'm depressed?

I realized that Gabrielle, Kiara, and Tiana don't just have parts of myself that I wrote into them, they're literally just different stages of my mind. I regret writing my trauma into their backstories because sometimes I can't read my own books without falling down the rabbit hole (one of the reasons I took them down from Wattpad because seeing other women victim blame someone for her own abuse sent me over the edge and the internal misogyny on this site is rampant). ☹️

I was super excited to write this book before I even started it. I thought of the idea before I finished Man's Weakness/4Play, before I finished Family Ties/Rise of the Phoenix, before I finished Hacker's with(out) Remorse. I wish I had kept that same excitement, but as you all know my depression hit me so hard that I couldn't even write let alone finish my stories. I've stepped away from this book so many times to center myself that I only lost myself even more. 🥲

Essentially, what happened with Nowhere to Hide is what happened with Til Death Do Us Part.

For many of you, these books, these characters are just some random story you found on Wattpad that may or may not have provided you with entertainment. It still boggles my mind that anyone likes my stories. That feeling will never go away. So I'll always be grateful whether people like my stories or not.

These books are a lot more personal to me. These books helped me work through my trauma. They helped me cope with difficult moments in my life. They became my safe place. My mental reprieve and retreat. The Marvelous 3 are like my home. I wrote Gabrielle's story while on the cusp of healing from an abusive relationship of my own. I wrote Kiara's story in the midst of dealing with a lot of family drama. I wrote Tiana's story while losing friends at the helm of the Black Lives Matter movement. I hold these stories so dear to me because of what they did for me in my darkest, loneliest, and most vulnerable moments. I can identify each scene or chapter that I remember crying as I wrote it. (I do not recommend putting this much of yourself into your work. Like ever. It's not healthy.)

So, ending this saga with this book has been a lot harder than I expected. I feel like I'm saying goodbye to a close friend. And I think I purposely put off finishing the book because of that.

The reason I did not upload the last remaining chapters and ending is because I'm doing to this book what I had to do to Malevolence. I have to make changes in prior chapters and scenes so that the ending makes more sense.

Also, the ending of this book not only sets up the next level of stories but it also impacts every other book I've written and plan to write. I didn't want to put the ending on here and spoil the rest of the books.

So, thank you for your patience and I'm sorry I've made you wait so long. Seriously you guys are amazing and I'm grateful for you. I plan on putting an updated, completed version of the book on Amazon in October for the month of Halloween when I actually have my shit together. 😅

At least... I found my excitement in how I've made these books connect. I can't wait for you guys to read it. And I hope you're onboard with the opening of Pandora's box this book will create. 💜