Multiverse Songs

Let Me Be Surprised (Conker from Heaven AU)

Sung by: Conker (Conker's Bad Fur Day) and Asriel (Undertale)

Conker: Where am I?
Asriel: This is the Great Hall of Judgement.
Conker: JUDGEMENT?!
Asriel: Oh, not to worry Mr. Conker, you'll go to heaven, all animals and monsters go to heaven because unlike people, or species are naturally good, and loyal and kind.
Conker: Oh, that's true.
Asriel: 🎶Welcome to doing whatever you wish~🎶
Conker: Ah, this is really a lovely place you got here.
Asriel: 🎶Eating whatever you please~🎶 Follow me. 🎶To a constant temperate climate, we keep it 73 degrees~🎶 We're still on Fahrenheit here.
Conker: That's fine with me.
Asriel: 🎶Welcome to no more gambling. 🎶
Conker: Oh, boy
Asriel: 🎶To order and calm instead,🎶
Conker: Ah, great
Asriel: 🎶Welcome to being dead~🎶
Conker: What?! You mean I'm... I'm...
Asriel: Stone cold, I'm afraid.
Conker: I can't believe it, I've been murdered!
Asriel: I'm having trouble finding any goodness or loyalty, but.. Let me see...
Conker: He killed me!
Asriel: I beg your pardon?
Conker: There's a mistake being made here! 🎶I don't wanna die! You got the wrong guy. I was crossed by a dirty rat, actually this rat was a man! But his car ran me down, I just blew out of jail, I just got back to town. Hey! This is hard to explain. May I speak to your superior? CAUSE I DON'T WANNA DIE!🎶
Asriel: 🎶Welcome to doing whatever you wish.~🎶
Conker: You got the wrong guy...
Asriel: 🎶Laughing and singing all day~🎶
Conker: Hey, my time's not up yet!
Asriel: Oh, but it is. There's no mistake about that, we know everything.
Conker: Murdered in the prime of my life! Damn that Copperbottom, I'll kill him... Hey, this must be the watch department.
Asriel: You may call it that. See, this watch is your life. And it stopped.
Conker: Oh... Couldn't you just wind it up or something?
Asriel: And send you back? Oh, no, no, no, no one's ever allowed to go back. Just sign your name right here.
Conker: What's that for?
Asriel: For our book of records. You see, everything about you that was, or will be is right here.
Conker: Aw, isn't that wonderful. I love it here. You mean there's no surprises or anything?
Asriel: Oh, no, no, no, we know everything.
Conker: Oh, that's just lovely. The clouds, the grass, the air.
Asriel: Heaven is a wonderful place.
Conker: Yeah, no surprises... Say, mind if I rest on that cloud too? You mean if I'm waiting for an insight straight up here I'd know in advance whether I felt it?
Asriel: We know how it all turns out.
Conker: This cloud purrs? I feel like I'm on a recliner. So nice and pleasant.
Asriel: It's for comfort.
Conker: Everything is so lovely here, so plain, so ordinary. And that's what's driving me crazy. 🎶I need Brazil, the throb, the thrill. I've never been there, but someday I will~ Adventure and danger, Love from a stranger~ Let me be surprised~ To day, there's sun~ They said there'd be snow~ When all's said and done, it's fun not to know~ What keeps my heart humming, is guessing what's coming~ Let me be surprised~ Oh, ain't it great?~🎶
Asriel: 🎶Ain't it great?~🎶
Conker: 🎶When fate makes you wait? The world seems mirthless~ You feel worthless~ Then suddenly, there's a big cake on your plate!~🎶
Asriel: 🎶Oh, but Conker, please remember, down there's a world of used cars and singles' bars~ Broken dreams and out of reach stars~🎶
Conker: 🎶But it isn't over, not for this rodent~ I don't like to steal~ But I don't buy this deal~ In 'bout three seconds, he'll have realized- And he's gonna be...🎶
Asriel: Conker, what are you doing?
Conker: 🎶Wait'll you see~🎶
Asriel: What's that behind your back?
Conker: 🎶He's gonna be~🎶
Asriel: *gasp* Conker, don't wind that watch!
Conker: 🎶Surprised!~🎶
Asriel: CONKER!