Maria Scherbatsky (mcu • himym)

Robin The Spy

THE YEAR 2005

MARIA HILL was walking around the main space of S.H.I.E.L.D when her boss, NICK FURY walked up to her.

"Hill. Meet me in my office. I have an assignment for you."

Maria obliged and went up the elevator with him. When they arrived, Fury opened up a hologram screen with a picture of a woman who looked like Maria displayed on it. The real Maria's eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't remember taking that photo." She said.

"That's because it isn't"

Fury clicked the remote and it zoomed out to reveal that the picture was on a driver's license.

"That is Robin Scherbatsky, and she's dead."

"What do you want me to do?" Maria questioned.

"I need you to replace her. We detected someone near the area who might be dangerous, and it would be better to go undercover."

And there she was. In a green turtleneck at some random bar in New York, speaking with 'friends' who were just other undercover S.H.I.E.L.D agents. She was full Robin Scherbatsky. She's been undercover before, but she couldn't shake the feeling that this was a little different. Suddenly, a guy in a suit tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, have you met Ted?"

Maria looked at him, and then in the direction he was pointing, and there he was...Ted, presumably. She pointed at him.

"Let me guess...Ted?" She said.

He nodded.

"Yeah, what's your name?" He said.

Maria got ready to reveal her false identity to someone for the first time.

"Robin. Robin Scherbatsky."

She outstretched her hand for him to shake. He took it.

"So what do you do?" Ted questioned.

She began going over the cover story she rehearsed.

"I'm a reporter for Metro News 1." Maria said.

Not entirely false, That was indeed real Robin's (former) job.

Ted nodded. "Oh."

...

Oh?

OH?

She was suddenly nervous he didn't buy it, but she didn't let it show. She began to go into further detail to legitimatize (is that a word?) her cover.

"Well, kind of a reporter. I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news, you know. Like-um-monkey that can play the ukulele. I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon." she explained.

"Bigger like, uh, gorilla with an upright bass? Sorry, you're really pretty."

oh no.

emotional attachment.

oh no.

As a distraction, she smiled and waved to the other undercover agents.

"Oh, your friends don't seem too happy." He said.

whoop whoop distraction.

"Yeah, see the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend so tonight every guy is... "The enemy"." She began.

"You know if you don't make your friend feel better you could throw a drink at my face. I don't mind." He offered.

"She would love that! It does look fun in the movies." She said.

"Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?" He offered again.

oh no.

nope nope nope nope

"Oh, I can't. I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday. Some guys attempting to make the world's biggest pancake and guess who's covering it."

"That's going to take a week?"

"Yeah, he's going to eat it too, it's another record."

'Robin's Dumped Friend': Hey, what's taking so long?

"Uh, I know this is a long shot, but how about tomorrow night?" He offered again again.

She stopped. "Yeah"

She suddenly remembered the drink face thing.

She threw the drink at his face.

She walked away and whispered, "That was fun."

Barney: (comes back laughing) De-wait for it-nied! Denied!

Ted: We're going out tomorrow night.

Barney: I thought we were playing laser tag tomorrow night?

Ted: Yeah, I was never going to go play laser tag.

THE YEAR 2011 - MCLAREN'S PUB WEST

Ted, Lily, Barney, and Marshall were sitting at their regular spot, waiting for Robin. She came in the door and sat down.

"Robin, why did you text us to meet up here?" Marshall said.

"I need to get something off of my chest." She replied.

"Fire away, then," Lily said.

Maria took a deep breath.

"I've been lying to you all for the past 6 years. I'm not Robin Scherbatsky. Robin Scherbatsky is dead. My real name is Maria Hill, I'm an agent from S.H.I.E.L.D. I went undercover for a mission, and I didn't expect to make friends. The mission is now over, so I get to tell you this. I know some of you might be mad, but I had to. I really hope you guys can forgive me."

.

.

.

The four burst into laughter.

"Oh, sure! Robin the spy!" Barney said in a mocking tone.

"Bravo six, going dark, eh!" Ted mocked.

"But umm, the suspect is going your way, be careful aboot that, eh!" Marshall mocked. 

"After we interrogate this victim, how aboot we go oot for a game of hockey, eh?" Lily mocked.

Maria rolled her eyes and put her hand up to her ear.

"Tony, could you go forth with Plan F?" She said into her earpiece.

"Robin, we know you're not a spy." Ted said.

Suddenly, a laser shot through the window and onto the wall, spelling out the words:

S H E ' S       N O T       L Y I N G

"YOU'RE A SPY!" Ted screamed.