Is this goodbye? Don't let it be goodbye | kagehina

A conversation

*Kageyama*

Crap, why is he leaving? did I do something? did I make him uncomfortable? I hope not.
I didn't mean to say that it was adorable when he jumped, it kinda just slipped out, I wanted to tease him for it but ended up being a dumbass and saying adorable, I really need to think before I speak.

He got up and left, he seemed uncomfortable to me, maybe I should follow him? or should I leave him alone? If its me who's upset him I doubt he'd want me to follow.
I want to make sure he's okay though, I want to make sure he's not too scared.

I got up off of the spare net me and Hinata was sharing and followed him outside the gym and to the stairs he was sitting with his head on his knees.
"Oi dumbass" I approached him cautiously, I don't want to make him feel worse by being a dumbass.

He looked startled, his eyes were wide when he looked up to see me, he looked adorable.
"what?" he snapped, I really did piss him off didn't I?

"You scared?" Why the fuck do I always come out as rude when I'm just trying to talk normally?

He doesn't want to see me obviously.

"Scared about college yeah" He snickered like he just made a dumb joke.

I sighed "me too" while sitting beside him on the steps, he leant back on his hand looking towards me like I had just told him something mythical actually happened to me, like he thought I don't feel scared.

"I'm so scared" He seemed suprised I was opening up to him, I laid back so I didn't have to look him in the eye when I spoke and looked up into the sky.
"I'm scared I'm going to be alone" His words kinda stung, it feels like we both feel the same but I know thats not true cause he doesn't have feeling for me, he can't theres no way. He pulled his knees up to his chest and put his head on them, his hair flowed beautifully in the cool wind in a way that makes me want to just run my fingers through it.
He's so beautiful.

"I" he struggled with his words, "I don't want to be alone" his words sounded like they hurt, he sounded like he was on the verge of bawling his eyes out and never stopping, he sounded so scared.
"I understand, but I don't think you're going to be alone Hinata, I'm sure you'll make a lot of new friends at college" I can't image Hinata without friends around him and a smile on his face acting like a dork, it just seems right, he's such a friendly person that people are just drawn to him magnetically. People love him. I love him.

He chuckled like he was going to act modest.
"Thanks Kageyama but I just don't feel that way" Wow, the words I've always imagined him saying for over a year just with a completely different context and meaning, now when I imagine him rejecting me I can just recall this moment, Hinata is careful sometimes when it comes to peoples opinions and feelings so I always imagined him turning me down gently.
"I think you're going to do great, you always do" The words are now just spewing out with no filter, I couldn't tell how he was reacting, I stopped looking at his face a few minutes ago cause I don't want to see his face if he's looking at me with disgust if I'm being gross. I think I sound gross.

HE'S GETTING UP, IS HE LEAVING? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

Is he not leaving? He moved but didn't leave. When I opened my eyes he was leaning over me, his face is so close. HOLY SHIT. What is happening? His eyes are staring straight into mine. SHIT they are so beautiful!
"You mean it?" He looked excited.

I'm too nervous so answer, I feel like if I move by just an inch our lips will touch, he's so close.
"Yes I mean it"
He smiled so happily, I think I made him feel a bit better, he hugged me pretty much laying on me when he does and giggled like he was being tickled, when I wrapped my arms around him his giggles got more high pitched and his head dropped next to my ear. It's kinda hot having him giggle in my ear.