Koon Chai Cafe

Chapter Thirty-One - The Hardest Goodbye

After another ten minutes of pacing and keeping my eyes tight shut, the nausea had settled from an all consuming agony to a dull ache in the pit of my stomach.

The 'click-clack' of flat heels growing louder as they hit against the linoleum floors made me look up. An ashen faced Mrs. Park came towards me from the end of the hall, her hair whipped the sides of her face as she walked. She slowed her pace as we drew side by side, halted suddenly, and looked up at me. Her eyes widened slightly, as if she was only really seeing me for the first time tonight.

Her eyes swept over my tousled hair and pale, clammy appearance. She reached out a hand, as if to comfort me, but then withdrew it and let her arm hang loosely by her side. Her eyes fell onto mine and they were the same shade of beetle black as Park's. Both of their eyes were thin and dark too, with the same pale brown freckle dotted on the corner beneath their right eye. She looked inscrutable, but whatever expression was there wasn't the same one of anger that I had seen months ago.

We stood in silence until she seemed to be brought back to her senses with a jolt. She turned without a word and moments later had disappeared behind the door leading to the hospital bed where he lay.

I felt myself lean back into the cold, hard wall behind me and slid down to the floor. I bent my head down, buried my face in my arms, and shut my eyes tight.

This wasn't happening. This was just a very realistic, horrific nightmare that I hadn't woken up from yet.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with disinfectant-scented air, and listened to the silence of the empty corridor. Minutes, or maybe hours passed by.

I heard a sliding door open to my left but kept my head down. I'd look up again when the world stopped spinning. A pair of black and white Converse broke into my line of vision and I felt a small hand land gently on the top of my head. I looked up and through my blurred, spinning vision I made out the outline of Park above me.

I stood up, ignoring the pounding that had begun in my head, and Park let his hand drop back to his side. "What did they say?" I asked in a shaky voice.

Park bit his lip, and looked around. Then, without a word, Park reached out a hand, held my arm tightly and began pulling me down the hall. He led me down the white, dimly lit hall and I followed him, confused, as he turned, scanned around the area, and made his way to a small supply closet. Inside, he shut the door, turned, and faced me for the first time.

There were no more tears left in Park's eyes now. He looked up at me with a blank expression, almost like he'd been through so many emotions in the last twenty-four hours that he no longer had any left to feel. My arm tensed up as I instinctively went to draw him in, but restrained myself, letting it flop back to my side.

"What's wrong?" I asked lamely. Park looked up at me blankly. He spoke in a monotone voice that did not match the severity of his words. "They think it might be cancer."

The silence was deafening. My mind raced, trying to make sense of it all.

Cancer? This hadn't been close to any of the possibilities I had prepared myself for. Park stared back at me, his face was just as inscrutable as his mother's.

This was the worst case scenario. I took a deep breath and steadied myself. I knew what I had to do.

"Park." I willed my voice to be strong and stable, but I could hear the quiver at the end of every word I spoke, "I think we should end this, you and me. We should end it now."

Park blinked, baffled, and then furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" He asked, making no effort to conceal the coolness in his voice.

"Park, this never would have happened if I had stayed out of it." I reasoned, trying to sound as emotionless as possible while my entire heart broke in my chest. "I can't be the reason you go through any more pain and suffering. I won't do that to you."