nikocado meets his long lost love - thatveganteacher whom he met at a vegan club many millenniums ago. the two have completely drifted away, becoming polar opposites of the dietary spectrum. but a kindle has lighted in miss kadies heart - will she w...
Disclaimer: I wrote this fanfic with the intent of taking notes from a documentary my science class was watching, which is why there are alot of offhand facts randomly inserted in about livestock Co2 consumption.
Karens POV
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ThatVeganTeacher was just finished filming her TikToks. She typed "watch seaspiracacy cowspiracy earthlings!!! We are facing the next major extinction or earth!!!Raising livestock creates more Co2 and uses even more resources than actual transportation. GO VEGAN. SAVE THE PLANET." For the 100th time again, spamming her videos with colourful text.
"Whew, that's enough today...." Her frail skinny pale body could not handle the strenuous dancing she had to do for her tiktok followers. Scrolling through YouTube, her beady eyes suddenly spotted a new recommendation that made her jaw drop. What the hell was this????? MEAT??? ANIMAL PRODUCTS??? ON MISS KADIES FEED!!! HOW DARE THEY. And not only that, but also FAST FOOD! The sight of McDonald's made her sick.
But what made her sicker was the man eating all the food. He had a McDees hairline, evidently from his food consumption. His body was shaped like a blob with no discernible neck. The fat paw which help a hamburger was positioned next to his humungous double chin covered in ranch.
She was shaking and crying now.... suddenly behind the blurry tears, her eye spotted a familiarity. This guy... he looked awfully familiar. After pondering for a couple minutes (her vegan mind had to work really hard for she had 5 braincells), she lit a lightbulb. This man had been in the same vegan club with her years ago! No, this couldn't be her beloved Nicholas Perry! Kind, soft spoken, vegan, and thin! What happened?
Niks POV
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Thee hamster woke up groggily, proceeded to scratch his hind-side and realised something was deeply wrong. There was this putrid smell and a crunchy sensation. SHIT!!!! HE HAD SHARTED ON HIS MATTRESS AGAIN! Then a long long text notification rang from his phone - his crusty eye poop obscured his vision, but some of the message was still visible.
"Poor animals... how could you - meat - save the planet.... You carnist...... specisist... heard you're gay... if you hate oppression so much... seafood is not sustainable.... McDonalds.... kfc.... BE VEGAN - change your diet....."
Nikocado was not fazed by any sort of hate anymore, but nothing boiled his blood more than a vegan. Disgusting things, absolutely crazy people. Using his ultimate mansplain manipulate murder skills, he came up with an excellent comeback to the vegan.
"AKSUALLY, eating meat doesn't help. The vegan diet kills your brain and makes you go crazy. Stop assuming when you know nothin about my life lady!!!! I is very healthy, I eat vegetables everyday and ALL the food pyramids. Plus you know fossil fuels acktually causes more pollution right! But you still drive a car, hypocrite."
Then a reply -
"Reducing fossil fuels does nothing, but going vegan makes a change. Look at the statistics. Watch COWSPIRACY! The numbers are all there, livestock farming creates even more Co2. The meat industry isn't telling you, they're all trying to hide the actions. GO VEGAN!!!"
Nikocado's manboss was quaking.... a vegan peasant was daring to oppose him. For now, that would have to wait. His bed was stinking and husband Orlin was going to wake up any minute now, so he got out and started waddling towards the toilet.
