The Psychology of Love

Chapter 41 Unattainable Love

But YU's brain can't process Sam's sound waves. The inner scream is too loud. The pain.

YU clenches his fists and stands still.

As he feels the flames consuming him, he stands still.

The deep plunge into the destructive abyss of fear of loss wrests from him all control over his body.

And so he burns down motionless to the last fiber.

Meanwhile, Sam finally wonders why YU is not responding to the conversation. He stands in front of him and sees that YU is looking through him. With blank eyes, he stands still and unresponsive.

Sam worries.

"YU? Can you hear me? Are you okay? YU?" he tries in vain to wake him up.

And as he feels the restlessness inside him making waves, he puts his hand on YU's face.

And his blood freezes as YU slaps his hand away from his face with a loud clap.

Sam feels the air around them crackle with charge.

And the sound of his rejected hand sends deep waves of shock through him.

And when he sees YU's mouth open, the letters forming words, revealing harrowing sentences and blaring accusations, Sam chokes.

"I guess your 10 o'clock meeting came too early. I must have disturbed you. Did you give him your time? What was it like? What did you give him? Did you touch him? Yes, you touched him in front of me. Did you like it? Was it good? Tell me, was he good?", YU begins softly and finally screams.

His skin turns purple.

His chest heaves out gravity.

He's racing.

"You're still smelling like me and you're already going after the next one. How can you?", YU screams and begins to convulse. "How can you?" he screams, burning tears scalding his skin.

Sam's body aches with shock. He can't find his voice. He is choking.

YU begins to sob.

"Tell me how he touched you! Tell me!" he groans, "I'm not good enough for you. I'm not enough for you!"

And YU feels everything around him turn black.

Black tears.

Black breath.

Black.

He sees nothing but black.

And his body convulses. Every cell aches in the flames of his loss. He is not worth it. Not worth being.

He is black.

His black soul wears black skin.

He does not deserve it.

He has lost him.

Because he is black.

And YU feels a rolling rage coming against himself.

He shouts.

"It's my fault. I'm not enough. It's my fault!" he screams, and starts clawing his fingers into his arms.

He scratches himself.

Wants to scrape the black off his body.

Sam jolts himself out of his stupor. His heart races and he feels deep despair.

"YU, please don't, YU!" he shouts loudly, holding his arms.

YU shakes him off and sobs louder. His body trembles in pain.