The Psychology of Love

Chapter 17 Worry

Chapter 17    Worry

The first rays of sunlight wake Sam from his darkness. He gets up and looks out over the park.
Sees the waking trees stretching in the wind. The sun's rays glitter like soaring butterflies on the surface of the water in Lietzensee.

The deserted playground stands still.

Sam mourns its emptiness.

He looks over at the swing and sees one person on the swing.

Alone.

In black.

Alone in black.

Sam rubs his eyes and feels his lost heart beating again.

He looks for him.

YU. He was just there. He was sitting on the swing. He is waiting. He's waiting for me.

But only emptiness shows itself to Sam.

His body gives way. All strength disappears. He can barely stay on his feet.

He drags himself to the bed and dials 1 on his speed dial.

As the toot resounds in the silent room, Sam lies under his covers. He still holds his voice recorder tightly in his hands. Pressed against him.

"Hello, Sam, did something happen? It's 7 a.m.," Sam hears Professor Dieckmann's voice from a distance.

"I'm sick. I have to cancel all sessions for today. Don't have the contact information at home, though. Wouldn't have the energy to inform everyone either. I was going to ask you to help me out. You have the key to my office, after all." rustles from the now feverish Sam.

"You sound terrible. And that's saying something. You haven't missed a single day of school so far. I wonder what happened. I'm worried about you. I'll get this done and then come see you. You can't stay alone like this," Dieckmann says worriedly.

Sam's fever worsens by the second. He hears his German father worrying, but can't get a clear thought out of his head. And so everything just bubbles out of him unfiltered.

"It's my fault. It's all my fault. I left him behind. He's so good to me and I left him behind," Sam's words float. He begins to sob again with empty tears.

Professor Dieckmann dare not believe he is hearing his Sam sob. He has never had any insight into Sam's emotions. He has only been allowed to dabble with his mind. He feels a deep emotion inside him.

"Sam, who did you leave behind? Who are you talking about?" asks Dieckmann, hearing the little boy from Taiwan, whom he had immediately taken to his heart, crying. Pleading. Whimpering.

"Sam, you're not in a good place. I'm coming for you. Just hold on a little longer. Just tell me if this He needs help now. Is he in danger?" worries Dieckmann.

"I left him behind. I just left. Everything became too much for me. I was scared. Just scared. I just left YU behind. And I deserve to be alone. Please don't come. Just cancel my sessions, please," Sam says honestly and hangs up.

And without another thought, he falls asleep.

His fever burns in his body. He dunks the enormous heat over his skin.

As if his body is fighting the inner pain that brought him the admission.

He burns to ashes to create the fertile ground from them.

He fights. He fights his way free. So that he can fight for YU.

His body regenerates itself. Takes the sleep.