Meet Me In My Office | KSJ X Reader ✔️

Ch. 13- Go Ahead, Talk

"Come in!" I hear Jin's voice sounding welcoming.

I open the door and slip into his office and I close it, keeping my back towards Jin as long as I possibly can. As I finally turn to face Jin's desk, that's when he looks up from paperwork he was rifling through.

"Y/N...you came by," he says with a surprised tone in his voice.

"I wasn't sure I was going to," I honestly tell him.

"Well, I'm glad you did," he says as he continues to look up at me. He motions his hand over to a chair on the other side of his desk, "Please take a seat and make yourself comfortable, Y/N."

I silently comply and settle into the seat.

"So...go ahead, Jin. Talk." I stare right into his bespectacled eyes.

"Are we just going to skip the pleasantries? No, 'How have you been the past few years?'" Jin tries to ask in a joking tone. I know it's his attempt to lighten the mood since we both know this  isn't going to be a comfortable conversation.

"You mean the past ten years?! I doubt you really cared about what happened to me during all that time, Jin." I bluntly retort back.

"Y/N..." Jin stops speaking and looks down at his desk.

I decide to take matters in my own hands and start to speak.

"Jin, that morning, I woke up to that message you sent me. I read it over and over. For the first hundred times I'd read it, I would tear up over it. I was heartbroken. You don't know how it felt when I tried to call you the following couple of weeks only to be ignored. I'd send you texts, only for them not to be replied to. I would've kept trying but I didn't want to drag it on and feel like I was bothering you. And, I decided to start letting go. It wasn't easy though because I fell in love with you."

"I—" Jin tries to speak but I cut him off. I had more to say. Who knew I'd be doing all the speaking, but I needed to get this all off my chest. And, fuck, it feels oddly liberating.

"I thought maybe you would eventually reach out to me, but you never did. Weeks turned into months which turned into years. I thought that in time, my feelings and heartbreak would completely fade, and in a way, they have. But, Jin, you were the first person I cared about that way. I put my trust in you in so many ways, and you just disappeared. No closure. Nothing. You want to know how much that affected me? I couldn't trust myself in relationships. I still don't. I'm sorry to admit this and put such a blame on you, but what you did really made a mark on me."

And, here, I sit with two lone tears running down my face. I swipe them away with my fingers.

"Y/N, I had no idea," Jin says above a whisper, with a sad expression. He reaches for a tissue and tries to hand it to me but my pride doesn't allow me to. So, he sets the tissue box on the desk in front of me.

"You didn't. You didn't bother to speak to me. You just dropped off the face of the planet. If you were going through something back then, you could've talked to me. If you didn't share my feelings, you should've told me. That would've been a lot better than never having answers as to why you didn't want me in your life." I tried, the whole time, not to raise my voice because if I did, people would most likely hear me from the hallway.

"It's more complicated than that, Y/N," Jin tries to explain.

"I highly doubt that," I counter back.

"Y/N, maybe you're right." He pauses and it makes me narrow my eyes at him. He continues to speak.

"Listening to everything you just told me, I realize that I could've handled the situation better at the time. I wish I could go back and change what happened, because you really didn't deserve what I did to you. I was going through some personal turmoil at the time and it made me doubt a lot of things, especially us. It wasn't that I didn't care about you, but I was scared I'd hurt you eventually, so I thought leaving the way I did would be best, but it wasn't. I don't think there is anything I can say for you to forgive me. But, please know that you did matter to me." He looks at me with sorrow in his eyes.

"Well, whatever you were dealing with, you could've came to me," I say to him.

"It was too painful to talk about at the time," he says, looking forlorn and not making eye contact with me.

"So you couldn't trust me with your problems?!" I question him, sounding slightly frustrated.

"It's not that Y/N. You want to know why I disappeared?!"

"That's why I'm here," I say out loud, with a serious expression on my face. Jin starts to explain himself.

"It's because, during that time, my parents were in the process of getting a divorce. My dad was fucking cheating on my mom for years. I thought they were the picture perfect couple, but it was all a sham. I was angry at the time. And, my ex that I was on and off with since freshman year of high school reappeared in my life. Nothing happened between us but I was scared that she would find a way to fuck up what you and I had. Maybe I should have told you all of this then, but I didn't know how to. I was too broken. At the time, I kept thinking that if my father could do what he did, then maybe I could hurt you the way he did to my mom."

"Jin—" this time, he cuts me off.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness. I really should've handled everything differently. Hearing how it's affected you over the years, I feel like I made a huge mistake." He looks at me sympathetic eyes.

"You did, Jin." I say in a straightforward manner and his head drops forward in disappointment.

I continue, "But, now, we heard from each other. Yes, it took us ending up working at the same university to speak of this, but at least I have answers now. And, I'm sorry you had to deal with your parents' divorce. I would've been there a hundred percent for you, though. But, we all have our way of handling things, and you handled it your way."

"I didn't mean to push you away because of it. I'm sorry, Y/N." He finally locks eyes with me for longer than a few seconds.

I break eye contact and look at my wristwatch that Yoongi gifted me a couple birthdays ago. I look back at him, "I need to get going, and I don't want to keep you from whatever you need to accomplish."

I quickly get out of the seat and start heading to the door.

"Y/N," Jin says my name, causing me to pause and turn back to him.

"You said you loved me that night. The feelings weren't unrequited...I just want you to know. I was just scared."

He and I stare at each other. I didn't know what to say. I was at a loss for words. All I could do at that moment was quickly exit his office, rush to mine, and let the tears spill as I sit on my little couch in the office.

🤍

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A/N:

Hi, Worldwide Cuties!😘🌹

How would you really react to Jin's confession that he actually returned your feelings?!

💋
-MissD