It's always been you

Wishing you were here

When he reached the storage room, he locked the door and sat on the corner. He brought out his phone from his pocket and look at the special folder he created containing Sam's pictures. While scrolling down, a tear fell on the screen. He didn't realize he was crying already. YU enclosed himself in his own arms and hugged himself tightly.

Tears fell one after another as he weeps while hugging himself. He missed Sam like crazy. Why can't the heart understand the predicament? Why can't it wait for even 2 weeks? What would he do in the future... if there is no Sam anymore? Will he forever be crying in the corner pitying himself?

YU wonders why life was cruel to him. Almost half of his life, he felt like he was living a life that wasn't sad but wasn't happy at all. It was a life that felt safe and comfortable but it lacks the fire of love and longing his heart was feeling right now. It lacks passion and the intense emotions surging in his every vein, not like now. Now that he has all the emotions in heighten awareness, comfort and the sense of safety are the ones lacking. 

Why is happiness felt so far away? Maybe because Sam was away. When he was here... YU can turn off his fears and focus on his man. But now... it was hard. He wanted to do a lot of things to forget his missing. But what if he stops thinking of Sam then he ends up forgetting him completely? That's one of his fears... that's why if pain and longing are what will make him constantly remembers him then so be it. It's better this way. It is better this way. YU kept on repeating this mantra over and over again so he will not forget.

His eyes fell on the basket nearby and remember that Sam's parents might be looking for him already. So he wipes his tears away and took a deep breath. He needs to be strong. Feeling weak in his condition will only make things worst. So he picks himself up and took the basket with him as he exited the storage room.

When YU looks ahead, he realized he now has forgotten in which direction he came from. The orchard wasn't so big but to someone stranger like him with forgetting instances... it's a bit hard to navigate. So he wanders around in search of the correct path. After a few minutes of walking... he still couldn't find even one of the old men.

He turns around the corner as another set of mango trees greeted him. He looks around and finds himself now on the corner area of the place so he turns his heels to go back to the path he takes when his eyes fell on the beautiful aqua-blue tinted glass gazebo situated in the far end from where he is.

YU frowns for he tries to find in his memory this particular place for he guessed Sam has mentioned this in the passing, but because of the faulty condition of his brain, he might have erased that part. He paused as he takes in the beautiful place from afar. 

He could see that the place looks a bit old but when it comes to exquisite things, they rarely changed how pretty they look even time passed as long as they will remain on their own without any disturbance. YU starts to approach the place. There is this bizarre feeling in his chest right now. As if the place was calling to him... beckoning him to take a peek and enters.

When he was not too far away, chilling winds that weren't there felt like welcoming him as he walks nearer. The orchard was warm and he doesn't know why it's getting colder and colder in this area.

"Yusuke! Boy, we are looking for you." Uncle Evan's voice brought him out of his thoughts. He turns his head back and saw Uncle Richard and Evan standing among the mango trees looking at him with worry. He gave the gazebo one last glance before turning back to walk towards the men waiting for him. He took a double-take on the place he was about to enter before walking away with no more backward glance.