Part 1

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Junmyeon has changed since the first time Yixing saw him, or met him. He used to be so bubbly and full of life, now he just practices to drain himself down. Not that he has any right here to say the other to rest, because he is the same after all. But Yixing still has some sanity left in him, while Junmyeon looks like he should talk to someone, he looks like he has bottled down every emotion, every need, everything. Now he looks like he thinks about losing than winning and Yixing understand that. Well anyone can, who really knows him.

How much he knows Junmyeon?

The first time he saw Junmyeon, was when he met his friend circle, the group who was going to debut and the group who already debuted and famous. He saw Yunho of TVXQ, he was like so protective of Junmyeon, well everyone around him was. And Minho, who he heard was going to debut, even being the younger was also protective over him. And he just got to know that in the first meeting with the group.

Jinki, or Onew was the first one to speak to him, he was like a big brother, caring and asking if he needed anything, Yixing always smiled whenever they met, it also became a ritual for him to be treated food by him. But it all stopped once SHinee debuted and Yixing felt that eagerness to be there on the big stage, performing. That had been the idea, goal, wasn't it.

And then the first time he really talked to Junmyeon, when he, on the way to dance practice room, saw Junmyeon practicing. He was sweating, but he looked so serious and determined, that Yixing couldn't help, but to say;

"You need more balance"

Yes, that's what he said. Always been a critic of dance, he just couldn't help it. Surely, he startled the other, who sighed and continued.

"If you want, I can help you."

It was not like he never made mistakes and had perfect balance, but he didn't know why he said that. Maybe to grab his attention or it was just a want to help the other. Junmyeon nodded, he didn't say anything, nor Yixing pressured him to.

Yixing did help and sometimes they both made a mistake. But after that they both started practicing together in the middle of the night, the only sound was the fraction of their feet against the floor, their suppressing giggles and whispers. That would have brought them closer to each other.

Junmyeon was happy some days and some days he was just angry, disappointed at himself. Yixing heard from someone that he was supposed to debut with SHinee, but the confirmation never came. And Yixing understood that there was so much pain that the other was hiding. And he also had been ditched by the other whenever SHinee came back after the tour. Junmyeon spent his time with them and mostly Minho that he realized was closer to the other than he could ever be.

Occasionally, he would bump into Jinki, and he looked exhausted but content, he felt the fire of eagerness to be on the stage. And the need to practice more. So Yixing chose the rooftop to practice, he could be there in the cold of the night, practicing, taking naps in the day or whenever he had chance to, leaving the night alone, for himself.

"I thought you said you would help me in dancing"

He stopped, turning around he saw Junmyeon, leaning on the wall, for how long, he didn't know. Junmyeon had blanket covering himself, he looked small and cute. Yixing never had a problem accepting in that he found another man or boy, cute or hot ... anything. The compliments weren't gendered. Well, his grandma never judged him on that, so it was not a problem.

 Yixing didn't say anything. He didn't know what to reply for that. Junmyeon, realizing he was not gonna get any answer from other, sat down near the railings and gesture the other to sit down beside him. Yixing was sweating and had only tank top on, he thought if he sat down and relaxed, he would feel cold, and somehow, Junmyeon read it.

"We can share the blanket. You won't be cold"

And he walked to him, sitting beside him. Junmyeon told him everything he bundled up, the disappointment to loss, but for Yixing it felt like something was left unsaid. But Junmyeon was still smiling, or maybe pretending to be smiling.  Maybe they were not that much close after all. Yixing just nodded, and relaxed in the warmth of other.

"We need to get better. If we want to debut next"

Junmyeon said, and he looked happy, maybe trying to cheer him up or maybe like a final confession and Yixing nodded. He just never knew what to say to Junmyeon. Because he was not a person who trust words than action. So he just nodded and they sat there, silent, and watched the stars twinkling far above.

As they climbed down the stairs and about to be parted, Yixing said:

"We will debut"

And the sentence had been said just like that, but Junmyeon's nod didn't feel like that he believed that sentence even a little. And that broke Yixing's heart. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Because he wasn't sure if they will.

Will they?


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