"I'll tell you what I remember."

Freedom.

TRIGGER WARNING: torture, graphic depictions of violence, derealization/dissociation, adult language (swear words), crying.

"That little, seemingly useless little missing block on the ceiling, that I saw through Ranboo's eyes, filled me with hope. I was- I was just  bone fucking tired. From being stuck in that cell with no sun light for months, for not having my usual slew of information everyday, which, really, was one of my main reasons for living, because with information comes possibility. And I was tired from Quackity's venomous words and vicious torture, from Sam's self-satistied arrogance, he- He looked at me like I was nothing more than a little insect being toyed with and waiting, begging, to be squished. I was tired of being away from George, I was tired of constantly worrying if Sapnap would ever forgive me. I was tired. From everything. 

But different from what  Sam would think, I was not begging to be squished. Because I found hope in my leverages. The reviving book. Technoblade's favor. Hell, even Ranboo. And now, that blessed hole on the ceiling. And still, I waited. To this day, I still don't know why. Or rather, how. Because I'll be honest, I was just utterly fucking broken. But Technoblade's favor was- It was just too precious to waste."

  As I said that, I shot a look at  Technoblade. His expression was clouded in an almost unreadable way. Yet, I knew I had achieved what I wanted. I got him thinking of all those times people- especially a certain blond kid that was sat infront of him -saw him as nothing but a weapon, a leverage. And I want him to know that that's exactly what he is and always will fucking be (that is, unless he changed his way of life drastically and parted from violence completely, which I know he will never do). He is more useful playing himself as the victim and making himself so desperate for a companionship that isn't Philza's that he is blind everytime to the unnavoidable heartbreak. Makes him take the chance each time. And makes things easier on me.

"I didn't have to wait too long, though. Not even a torture-ridden week later,  some little birds came to visit."

 I looked Tommy straight in the eyes, smirking behind my mask.

 -- Of course, one of them met his untimely demise that day- Not the first of the little birds to die in that cell.

 -- Dream, I swear- Tommy replied, bloody murder in his eyes. Tubbo, sat in between two men enraged, his husband and his best friend, tensed up, and the atmosphere of the room tensed up with him. But Philza- Always Philza, with his seemingly unnending pacience -stepped up, putting a calming hand on Tommy's shoulder. Wilbur also did not go forgotten, embraced as he was by one of Philza's wings. Once a President and a General, once a great Destroyer, now a chick cowering under the hen's wings. I felt my stomach rumble with disgust. 

 -- Look Tommy, all I'm saying is the truth. If you're not ready to relive that day, you can take the advice I gave to Ranboo and leave. I'm being nice by even warning you, so if I were you, I wouldn't take the chance.

 -- Enough, Dream. - Philza said in a tone that made all of them, especially  Wilbur, become uneased. The tone of a father berating a son. Of an immortal soul looking a man with an immortalized name in the eyes and deciding to bellitle and underestimate him. I felt anger rise in me. I wouldn't be treated like some other roudy child Philza feels the need to discipline.

 -- No need to get all fatherly towards me.

 -- I am not-

 -- By the way Wilbur flinched, yes you  were. Philza, we are here eye to eye, all cards on the table. I will not tolerate being babied and told to go sit in the corner.