My Doll ( enoch O'Conner 2024 )

Therapy

Aaliyah

I looked up to the ceiling then to the clock bolted onto the blue office walls. The room was filled with the small sound of my foot tapping. My ankle bounced my Converse 1,000 mph while I shuffled my tarot cards around in my hands.

"How are you feelings this week Aaliyah?" my therapist, Dr. Metz, questioned while picking up her thin framed glasses.

Dr. Metz was an intelligent women, who's forehead must have been a representation of her brain. Thin dark auburn hair draped to her collarbone . She was a statuesque, willowy woman. Almost spider like.

"Well I'm happy to inform you that I feel fine" I replied.

Which obviously was a lie. I had not felt fine in weeks. In fact, I was the opposite of fine and felt like my head was full of scrambled eggs. My energy was drained and the feeling of anticipation was gnawing at me from the inside, creating a deep pit in my chest.

"Glad to hear it. I'm curious though, have you put anymore thought into that boarding school we had discussed before?" she questioned.

"Thank you for the offer but I'm going to pass on the idea of getting shipped off to the states. Have you seen the political and social issues going on over there? That alone is a no for me."

Actually, I couldn't care less about what was going on with their overseas ideals. But a boarding school is completely off the table for me. Abiding by someone else's time, conforming to religious Sunday school activities. Gag.

Honestly, my interest are in literally the opposite. Ever since I could remember I was drawn to the occult. Metaphysical ideals, fairy realms and fantasizing about anything that could ride a broomstick.

"Since you are not yet 18, I'm just cautioning that ultimately the decision will be up to your foster mother. For now she is responsible for whatever would be in your best interest."

Dr.Metz leaned in a little to rest her hand on my knee from across the coffee table.

"And I really do want you to know we want the best for you, I'm just a little concerned with our incident that happened last month with your pet, Aaliyah."

My eyes watered slightly and I winced away from her touch.

"What happened with Peanut wasn't real, and I know that now. I already said I was tired that day. Or the lights were just dimmed too low to see anything."

Peanut was my hamster I thought I necromancy'd back to life. After being too tiny in a room too cold I held him in my palms for what was the last time when he had started nibbling at my hands again. The scream from discovering his newly wiggling body was a shock to me, and a nervous breakdown. I had believed I brought him back to life. 

The session continued on for another long 30 minutes with routinely asked questions.

How long are you sleeping? How is your diet? How is your school work? Any suicidal thoughts?
Each question stretching the time even longer to what felt like an eternity until I was dismissed.

............

The drive home was quiet while the sun was hidden behind the thick layer of fog which had fallen a few days ago. The autumn season had really done a number on the island this year, our once lush mossy fields which lined our coast were now brown and barron. The ocean lacked the sparkle from the sun. Distant sounds of waves crashing against the rocks and cliffs as I drove were the only things that were familiar. Even our local birds were almost mute.