Subclinical Manifestation

11

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jux·ta·po·si·tion

the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect

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It was probably the first time she saw a look of something near indiscernible that almost looked like fear combined with guilt or shame revealed beneath the dark of his obsidian eyes. She remembered how he always had a composed countenance even when they drove to take the university admission tests, and he could easily swallowed his breakfast the first time they had their exams as medical students when she barely touched anything, or even the day of his minor thesis defense. Another thing she adored about him, how despite the nerves coiling inside his body, he would be able to conceal and face the matter heedfully and calmly. Sometimes it unnerved her, how he managed to do exactly that all those times. But more often than not it soothed her. Egotistically naming her anxieties were the only problem at hand, with his calmness he soothed her and she was always grateful and sometimes forgot that he too did have his own anxieties.

Glancing multiple times to his back as they paced toward the doctor's mess, she could sense the developing tension his shoulders made. They still had an hour left for the night shift, but the residents let them out early after the death pronouncement, reassuring them there would be no scratch on their marks and they needed to take a shower and some rest before the start of another morning lecture.

Before her, he paused and stepped to the left when a bed was pushed by nurses past them. He half turned to her without really looking at her. Concerned, she stepped to where he stopped and whispered tentatively, "Sasuke?"

And when she reached his side, he looked at her briefly. "Let's go," he said lowly as he started in a slow pace, as if waiting for her to follow. Then it occurred to her, he had been waiting for her to walk with him side by side because as much as it had troubled him, he must have thought it'd trouble her too just the same.

Adjusting her steps to his or him to hers, they paced down the hall toward the doctor's mess, mentally wished to get out of the hospital as fast as their feet could allow.

Lightly pulling the hem of her coat as she studied his expression, she stepped over to him standing before his locker, pale eyes wandered to his hands working their way to adjust the jacket hugging his torso. "How about dinner at the barbeque place?" she asked before the courage she had reserved for the past months failing her. Her conversation with Neji repeatedly appeared inside her head, yet even until the end of Surgery rotation, she couldn't muster the courage to have a talk with Sasuke. They were busy after all, she had been saying to herself. When one time the week for her had been less packed, he would go home the next day with permanent frown on his face after another less fortunate shift.

So it was now or never, before she lost another pent up courage and they lost another 'convenient' time.

He looked at her instantly, a hand reaching the door to close the locker and another reaching its way deep within his pocket. It wasn't long until he gave her a faint smile, somehow she sensed his tiredness and another she didn't dare to name behind the soft gaze of his eyes. His answer, however, couldn't be put better than it did.

"Can hardly wait."

The reflex to smile came without wasting any second; she never felt more relieved than she ever had in years.

The rest of the day was stumbling in a haze. They managed to have an hour of sleep before preparing themselves—skipping breakfast with a brief shower for both and a minimized and wobbly make up for Hinata on the ride to school—for morning lecture. In between classes they managed to steal concise yet precious minutes to nap, mentally reprimanding themselves to read all about acute oxygen therapy later the night at home. The last class ended at four when it should have been at three thirty, all thanks to a particular overly joyful professor.