𝟝- 𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘦

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-🄹🄰🄲🄾🄱-


I pulled up into Kevin's driveway and waited for him to open his car door. After a while (like, twenty seconds), I looked over, confused as to why he wasn't getting out. I sighed. This boy.


I reached over to shake him awake, but hesitated. He just looks so peaceful...I don't want to disturb him. Oh, well. I can't, like, kidnap him and take him home with me, and I'm not going to invade his house. I gave in and flicked his shoulder.


"Hey, Kev, we're at your house. Hey. Hey. Hey. Wake up, dude." I poked his cheek, trying to get him to react. "Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevin. Kevi-" he smacked me.


"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep, you jerk."


"YAH, I just drove you home, be grateful! Respect your elders! I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing."


"But ya DiDn'T!"


"Just because you finished my reference doesn't mean you get to sleep in my car. We're at your house. Get out, you rat." (ʀᴀᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ, ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴅᴇꜰᴇɴꜱᴇ. ɪꜰ ɪ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀ ʀᴀᴛ, ᴄᴏɴꜱɪᴅᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ.)  He scoffed.


"Fine, If you want me gone that badly, I'll leave. I want a divorce."


"Thank God."


"YAH!" He smacked my leg. I just smiled. Kevin rolled his eyes and unclicked his seatbelt. He opened his door to step out. "Well, bye."


"Bye, divorced wife!"


"Hey, I am not the wife here!"


"Just because I'm a cheerleader doesn't make me the female!"


"Well, yeah, but I'm a to-" (ᴛᴏᴇ)


"WOAH, WOAH, HEY, HEY, HEY, STOP RIGHT THERE, THAT IS INNAPROPRIATE YOUNG MAN!"


"No its not you big baby! JACOBISABOTTOM!"


"YAH, KEVIN, SHUT UP AND GO INSIDE!"


"YOU DIDN'T DENY IT!"


"KEVIN MOON!"


"BYEBYE!" Lucky for him, he ran inside before I could murder him. Too bad, would've been really satisfying. I mean- whAt? i wOuLD nEver kiLl kEvIn!1!!!1 nEvER eVEr!1!!11


I pulled out of Kevin's driveway, reflecting on the day's events. A lot happened in one day. I met a boy, blacked out because said boy chucked a football at my head, and got divorced by the same boy when I didn't even know that I was married. Oh, and had a random dude shout out to the world that I was a bottom. Well, not just a random dude, technically. My apparently divorced husband. I still think he should be the wife, but he has a point on the whole bottom thing-


Anygays, I made a friend today! That hasn't happened in a while, the only time I'm not anxious is when I'm on the sidelines of a football field. But Kevin seems pretty chill, despite the slight factor of him being annoyingly masculine. (😐) He's cool. And apparently my (divorced) husband-


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